Donny’s Top 10 Most Anticipated Films of 2009

I’m looking forward to seeing a ton of flicks in 2009, and while I’m only supposed to be listing my top 10 most anticipated films of 2009, I want to take this time to list a few flicks that are also on my radar.  Those flicks are; The Road, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Friday the 13th, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Megan Fox bending over cars is always a must see), and Push.  Now here’s my list:

 

10. Where the Wild Things Are: I’m extremely stoked to see Spike Jonze’s adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s awesome children’s story.  This was my favorite book when I was a little pain in the ass, and it’s one of my son’s favorites as well.  I’ll be at the theatre on opening night. (October 16)

9. Terminator: Salvation: I’m pretty tired of the Terminator films, but I’m curious to see what Christian Bale brings to the table.  So I’m ready to check this one out just to see if it will signal the rebirth or death of this monumental franchise. (May 22)

8. Jennifer’s Body: I love Diablo Cody, but I’m going to have to be completely honest.  While this film is interesting in and of itself, the main reason I’m going to see it is to peep Megan Fox in her birthday suit.  Hell, any chance to watch her on screen is a treat.  What can I say, the girl is smoking hot.  Anyway, I’ll be there for this one on opening night.  (September 18 in Canada, US dates coming soon)

7. Land of the Lost: I can remember waking up to watch the original every Saturday morning.  It was an integral part of my childhood.  The fact that it was made on the cheap and was sorta goofy only added to its charm.  I think Will Ferrell is a perfect choice for this flick.  Sleestaks baby! (June 5)

6. Inglourious Basterds: Quentin Tarantino is a bad-ass.  Plain and simple, the guy makes killer movies. So on opening night I’m going to be there with a smile on my face because at the very lest I know I’m going to be entertained.  (August 28)

5. Star Trek: I’m going to forgive  J.J. Abrams for Cloverfield and take this scifi journey with him.  I love the original television show, and the movies that followed.  I even enjoyed the Next Generation, so I see no reason why I won’t love this one as well.  Especially with a talented director like Abrams at the helm. (May

4. Funny People:  Judd Apatow is a funny guy, and I really dig the films he writes and directs.  So it goes without saying that I’m totally stoked to see him make a new flick with not only Seth Rogen, and Leslie Mann, but with funny man Adam Sandler as well.  (July 31)

3. Adventureland: Greg Mottola is one of my favorite new directors.  I think the guy genuinely knows what’s funny.  After watching the trailer this became one of the films I’m looking forward to most this year. (March 27)

2. X-Men Origins: Wolverine: What more can I say other than, it’s Wolverine bitch!  I’ll be in the lines waiting for my ticket on opening night, just to see Hugh Jackman kicking ass behind the claws again.  (May 1)

1. Watchmen: I haven’t been this excited about seeing a movie since Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. This is my favorite graphic novel, and if the trailers are any indication of how amazing this flick is going to be, it just might be my favorite flick of the year as well.  (March 6)

Daniel’s Top 10 Films of 2008

10. Young at Heart: Next to Slumdog Millionaire this documentary is the best time  you wil have at the movies this year. This tale of an elderly chorus group singing rock/pop songs tugs at your heart and stays with  you.

9. Snow Angels: This devastating drama will get under your skin and stay there. Make sure to catch this little indie on DVD  as soon as possible. David Gordon Green’s best film to date.

8. The Visitor: Everyone that knows me knows this was one of my favorite films of the year. By far. Great Performances all around especially from Richard Jenkins who in my humble opinion deserves an Oscar nom for his work in this film though Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke have it in the bag.

7. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: David Fincher masterfully directs this tale of love and life, and handles it with such grace, and skill that you have to stand back to take it all in.

6. MIlk: Sean Penn in one of the most astonishing performances of the year tells the story of Harvey MIlk, the first openly gay man to take public office only to then be assasinated. 

5. The Wrestler: Mickey Rourke delivers the years best performance as a beaten down wrestler trying to come to terms with his life, and the choices he has made.  Hands down the years single best performance and one for the books.

4. Slumdog MIllionaire:  Director Danny Boyle contines to grow and show his skill behind the camera with this tale of unswerving love and devotion.  Hidden behind a tale of a you man named Jamal, telling the tale of how his life and the reasons behind him knowing the answers to India’s version of Who Wants to be A Millionaire.

3. Wall E: This little tale of a robot’s struggle to stay with the one he loves stole the hearts of Americans, and anyone else that has seen it. Pixar continues to raise the bar on what animated movies can be and how to make movies in general regardless of the medium. 

2. The Dark Knight: No i’m not simply stating this film is number 2 becasue im a ‘fanboy’ or whatever. This film surpasses the superhero genre completely and takes the story to a whole new level.  One not seen  in film for quite sometime. Look for a win for Heath ledger, and the film is also a dark horse for this years best picture race as well.

1. Man on Wire:  Absolutely Stunning documentary that tells the tale of Phillipe Pettite’s attempt to walk a high wire stretched across the twin towers.  Absolutely suspensful and breathtaking cinematography completely wrap you up in this caper.

Valkyrie review

It was distressing to hear the negativity the hovered over the production, and the studio constantly moving release dates for Bryan Singer’s WWII drama didn’t help either. I like Singer, I felt as if in every film he gives it his all and delivers on certain levels of enjoyment. Unfortunately, the last year or two hasn’t been kind to Tom Cruise, and despite his wonky personal life and media grabbing headlines, I have found him to be a decent actor. I’ll admit it.

So finally, Valkyrie is released and was all of that drama worth it? No, in fact, it’s silly that there was even any fear that the film was “in trouble”. Valkyrie is a good drama that has the disadvantage of having every audience member know the fact that Hitler doesn’t die. How do you play against that fact and still make an interesting, suspense-filled tale?

Singer constructs the film with such precision that each act, each motive, is there for a reason and moves the plot along smoothly. History tells us Hitler committed suicide. I would be lying if I was at least for a moment thrown for a loop in thinking maybe Colonel Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) pulled the 14th (!) assassination attempt off successfully. Singer displays all of it in a thrilling manner, as the film essentially has two bits of action and is mostly all dialogue. The film systematically shows the planning of Operation Valkyrie, what could’ve went right and what did go wrong.

If anything, because of Singer’s precise direction, unless you’re a huge history buff, you might not know one German from the next, but it helps having good actors like Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, and Cruise to carry us through this bit of interesting history. Also, there are a few bits of dialogue that felt more like Singer and the screenwriter sharing their feelings than the characters. That’s fine; Hitler was prime evil, the Holocaust was perhaps mankind’s darkest hour, but it feels slightly manipulative. I doubt if Stauffenberg cared about the Jews more than nationalism.

Valkyrie is a sharp thriller, full of engaging drama and tension, and Singer proves he’s still here and can deliver solid films outside of the superhero genre. All of the double-crosses and near-misses, watching Stauffenberg’s plan slowing unravel without him fully understanding why, makes for a great time.

Rating:

 

Marley & Me review

“The world’s worst dog”. Ouch. And we all thought it was Cujo or something. But Marley is as unruly as a bratty kid, running around, eating answering machines and underwear. Disrupting even a peaceful walk, and yet as John (Owen Wilson) and Jenny (Jennifer Aniston) look at him, they smile and hug him harder. There seems to be an unnamed rule or two that when it comes to dog movies that if you’re a dog lover, you’ll love the movie, and if it has a dog in it, you’ll cry. Well, yes. I don’t know who set those standards, but they’re there and they work.

Are there mediocre or-gasp!-bad dog movies? Yes, but Marley & Me despite playing to many safe conventions aims to please, and more or less works in such a broad way.  It’s impossible to not laugh and tear up. Manipulative? Sure, but there are times when it’s perfectly fine to play with those age-old favorite conventions and for those who are willing to just have that good old time at the movies, you’re rewarded.

A rather long film, based on a true story and memoir on John Grogan’s experience with Marley, one of the most unruly, but lovable dogs you’ll ever meet. I’m sure there were liberties but the film works, thankfully due to some fleshed out characters. We see John’s insecurities about being a father, being second-rate to a better writer in his wife, and when he thinks he can delay Jenny’s wish for a child by buying a dog, it backfires in a way he didn’t realize: the dog became his best friend.

Sure these are universal themes, done several different times before, but dog fighting rings have became a topic of interest as of late, so it’s nice to see the true nature of man’s best friend. Now like I’ve said before, the film has a few tear-inducing scenes, some are predictable while one or two are unexpected, and comes from the human side of the story. It’s not to hard to show dogs doing cute things to win an audience over, so I applaud the screenwriters for making the human side of the film an interesting one to get invested in. While not anything terribly deep or new, if the film is two hours you better give us something more than that cute dog to like, and in some ways they did.

Wilson and Aniston have good chemistry together and Alan Arkin pleases, and while the film earns its tears (from dog lovers anyway)….well… I’ll let it be. I guess some colder people or cat people won’t care about Marley & Me, and there is nothing wrong with that, just let the dogs have their day.

Rating:

 

 

Jon’s Top 10 Anticipated 2009 Films

It’s early, really early to know everything that will come out in 2009, but here’s a quick glance at ten films that should be hotly anticipated. Release dates subject to change.

2008 Films opening in 2009: Due to markets and release patterns, here’s some anticipates films many will get to see in January: The Wrestler, Frost/Nixon, Gran Torino, Waltz with Bashir, $9.99, and Revolutionary Road.

10 – Ong Bak 2: Despite the crazy behind-the-scenes drama with producers and the star Tony Jaa, the leaked early footage looks fantastic. Tony Jaa can easily step into the elite action star status with this; hopefully, we’ll see it sooner than later. (TBD)

 

9 – X-Men Origins: Wolverine: The trailer looks good; full of action, story, and Gambit. I suspect this film could go in two directions: Iron Man greatness or Spider-Man 3 sloppiness. There seems to be too many characters and it looks as if they’re trying to cover a lot of ground with his origin, so we will see. But Marvel’s on a hot streak. (May 2^nd)

8 – Pixar’s Up: After Ratatouille and Wall-E, need I say more? (May 29^th)

7 – Star Trek: Personally, I’m torn. I can’t get over the fact that it’s essentially “Baby Trek” but the trailer looks awesome. Abrams seems to love the Trek universe and Paramount and the fans are on board, let’s hope it will boldly go where no Trek film has gone before…or since Wrath of Khan. (May 8^th)

6 – Inglourious Basterds: I was a fan of Death Proof, the first Tarantino film I disliked, but I enjoyed the original 1978 version of Inglorious Bastards and everything from the casting of Brad Pitt, Mike Myers, to the concept, to the secret hope this is the film that return Tarantino back into the light, I am down for his WWII film. (August 21^st)

5 – Jennifer’s Body: This is the new film from Diablo Cody after her Oscar-winning screenplay for Juno. I think she’s talented and I like her as a person, so I’m hoping she proves she’s not a one-hit wonder. Cody’s stated she is a geek for horror films and you get that sense in Juno with the Argento versus Lewis talk. A naked Megan Fox isn’t a bad selling point either. (September 18^th)

4 – Friday the 13^th: I’ve given up the resistance to fight remakes. Good thing too because the poster, the trailer, the look of Jason are all bad ass. It’s not a hard concept to reconceived, a mother goes psycho after he boy drowns by camp councilors were busy having sex, so it should be no surprise if this film is wicked cool. I expect this film to be huge. (February 13^th)

3 – Terminator: Salvation: I was skeptical over further adventures in this world after James Cameron left, but if anything T3 was a lot of fun, Sarah Connor Chronicles on Fox is a great show that I hope lasts, and early footage makes this look epic. I can’t wait to see what happens in this timeline, because the trailer said “this isn’t the future my mom warned me about” as John Connor looks at these newer Transformer-styled Terminators. Christian Bale is Connor equals best casting choice ever. I don’t care that McG is helming it, I trust the footage seen. (June 22^nd)

2 – Black Dynamite: Here’s my off-beat, sexy pick. A hit at Sundance, this film looks as if it was made in the ‘70s and release this year. I am a huge fan of the blaxploitation genre and the trailer promises funky music, afros, sex, and all of that good ‘70s action. Michael Jai White owns in the trailer! (TBD)

1 – Watchmen: Like there would’ve been any other choice? The early trailers and footage look beyond great and this could be the film director Zach Snyder steps into the director elite circle. If anything, after The Dark Knight we’re more open to a multi-layered story with action wisely used and some people who have seen the first 20 minutes claim this isn’t an action-fest which has gotten the fans of the graphic novel even more excited. Hopefully, the court battle between WB and Fox ends soon and us fans aren’t the victims. (March 6^th)

There’ll be a lot more films I and Killer Film will get excited about as the year moves onward but I think these will be some of 2009’s more popular films. Keep it here for coverage, reviews, and interviews for all things film related in 2009, only at Killer Film! What are your anticipate films? Post below!

The Wrestler Review

 

Darren Aronofsky is one of the most enigmatic filmmakers making films in Hollywood today.  His films push the limits of how far an audience is willing to go, and never take the easy way out.  He puts more emphasis on his own vision than that of the studio executive, and his films live on inside the subconscious long after leaving the theatre.  His newest film The Wrestler hits the same notes that his previous films do, but is by far his most accessible film to date.  

The film follows Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Mickey Rourke), a washed up professional wrestler struggling with health issues as he works his way through the independent wrestleing circuit.  His health issues prompt him to seek out his estranged daughter (Evan Rachel Wood), and the love of Cassidy (Marisa Tomei) a stripper that he feels a connection with.  All while contemplating, against his doctors orders, a return to the big-time by fighting his former nemesis.  

I’ve never been a fan of wrestling in any way, but that didn’t stop me from being sucked into Randy’s journey.  Mickey Rourke proves that he still has what it takes to carry a film.  His performance is nothing short of amazing.  I’ll be sorely disappointed if he doesn’t earn the Oscar this year,  Marisa Tomei also churns out a killer performance, and even in her forties her beauty is breath-taking.  All of the actors in this film deserve accolades for their performances.  Evan Rachel Wood is also pretty awesome as Randy’s daughter Stephanie.  All of the characters have layers, and it’s enthralling to see these layers stripped off each character with the grace of a master story-teller.  

Aronofsky has really come into his own as a director with this film.  He made a film that will surely be labeled as classic sooner rather than later.  Under his direction the cinematography is vibrant, and captivating, and the acting is career defining.  Even if your not a fan of Aronofsky’s films do yourself a favor and see it if it makes its way to your city.  Because The Wrestler is positively a killer film.

Rating:

Certified!

I have to apologize to everyone.  When I was writing my worst films of 2008 list, I forgot the film that in my opinion sucked harder than any other flick this year, Cloverfield. I know most of the moviegoing public loves this movie, but I can’t stand it.  

I hate the fact that they spent millions of dollars to make a movie look like crap.  I hate the fact that the poor actors’ feet get more screen-time than their faces.  I hate the fact that the guy holding the camera is the worst camera man on the planet.  The guy runs around with the camera on because he wants to capture the events unfolding in front of his eyes, but instead decides that various shots of the road would be much more interesting than actually filming the unfolding events.  

So I’ve decided that in my humble opinion Cloverfield is 100% crap.  So I give it my seal of disapproval, and labeled it certified 100% crap.  Because it is by far, again this is my opinion, the worst film of 2008.  

 

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: 2008’s Best and Worst of Horror

This year was not an extraordinary year for aficionados of the horror genre. In fact, many would argue (including myself at one point) that it was the worst year in many years for horror fans.  We put up with needless sequels and countless remakes that we foolishly gave our hard earned money to. We also unfortunately had to wait months at a time for a theatrical horror release and waited in anticipation for the next soon to be disappointment like a popular television show on hiatus.

I thought it would take me a long time to actually think of ten movies worthy enough of being on a top ten list and to my astonishment, I realized in terms of horror, 2008 was not as bad as I originally thought it was.  Looking back, I have a lot of note worthy experiences and memories from just the horror genre alone.

1. I finally saw the goddamn Cloverfield monster.

2. I had the amazing opportunity to go to L.A. to watch Pathology and befriend Johnny Whitworth, my childhood crush. (Who I also ran into couple of weeks later in Toronto coincidently enough.)

3. I got to experience the amazing Montreal Fantasia Film Festival for the first time and meet great people like Mitch Davis and Fangoria’s editor, Tony Timpone.

4. I got to see a close friend shine onscreen opposite a beloved X-Men Heroine and the “Funky Spunk” dude from the now infamous Sex and the City episode, and I also got to see one of my director friends make his dream come true by making his controversial horror musical come to life.

5. I gave my friends memories they will never forget (no matter how hard they try) by introducing them to films like Inside and Funny Games.. I will never forget their outraged faces…priceless..

6. I got completely inebriated with the Great Troma founder, Lloyd Kaufmann. (Good times..good times)

7. I saw someone throw up over themselves after viewing a controversial French horror film. (You can’t forget that)

After thinking of my many memorable moments, I started to recollect all of the worthy and unworthy horror films of this year. Here is my list:

THE GOOD:

10. CLOVERFIELD

I know a lot of you may be thinking what the hell is Cloverfield doing on this list, but this monster movie is definitely a worthy contender.  For Christ sakes, a woman’s head blows up “Scanner” style in the movie. (If that’s not horror, I don’t know what is.) It was the year’s first worthwhile entry and it re-introduced to the mainstream audiences  the popular handheld horror sub-genre.  It was also a movie that created an obsessive buzz since audiences first witnessed the then untitled trailer at the Transformers screenings back in the summer of 2007.  People were for looking clues in random stores, buying t-shirts with fake Slurpie companies plastered over them and watching every YouTube based viral video for the film that they could get their hands on.  Seriously, any movie that gets gullible viewers to see it a second time simply to see a f*cking speck of something drop into the middle of the Ocean in the background, deserves to be mentioned on a top ten list.

9. TRAILER PARK OF TERROR

No horror movie surprised me as much as Steven Goldmann’s film adaptation of Trailer Park of Terror. I had first witnessed this film at this year’s Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal and was shocked to see the film was as equally hilarious as it was frightening.  Just like Dead and Breakfast and Hatchet, TPoT relies heavily on its ingenious kills on the obnoxious one-note characters to keep the audience thoroughly entertained.  If zombies, torture porn and musical interludes are your cup of tea, I suggest you visit this trailer park pronto.

8. ACOLYTES

Acolytes is an Australian horror film that I’m more than happy to promote due to the fact that not many people have witnessed it yet. Director Jon Hewitt delivers a visceral horror experience reminiscent of films like Jeepers Creepers and Mr. Brooks. It’s not everyday you see a movie about three troubled teenagers blackmailing a pissed off and psychotic serial killer. I praise Hewitt for making the bold choice of casting real-life teenagers and putting them in very violent and sexual scenarios. Like Larry Clark, Hewitt knows how to push the envelope in terms of real-life horror.

7. MARTYRS

Remember when I said someone threw up at a screening I went to? Martyrs was that film.  To be honest, Martyrs wasn’t one of my favourites of 2008.  I had seen it at the Toronto International Film Festival’s midnight madness premiere and was told beforehand that it made the French shocker, Inside look like a Disney film.  At the end of the screening, I was slightly disappointed because it wasn’t the shocker I had originally anticipated it would be.  Having said that, one can not deny director Pascal Laughier’s awe-inspiring vision and his interesting points of view about religion.  It takes guts and huge brass balls to make a film like this and I respect that.

Giving away anything of the film would do any future viewers a disservice.  You should know that it’s not for the queasy and if you’re Agnostic like myself, you will appreciate the film on a much deeper level.

6. JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER

2008 was the perfect year to release the monster-slaying plumber onto the horror scene.  The horror genre has suffered significantly this year and because of that, Jack Brooks was welcomed with loving and open arms amongst the horror community. (Something I don’t think could have been done even just last year.)  It was the breath of fresh dead air that the genre needed with its cheesy yet pleasing special effects and its original concept. Fellow Canuck Jon Knautz knocked it out of the park with this humorous origin tale of a man realizing his place in life.  It easily earns a spot on a top list for best Canadian horror films. (Give us the sequel already!)

5. QUARANTINE

When horror fans around the world heard the news that their beloved REC was being remade, an explosion of anger erupted in the community.  Then came the news that Dexter’s wise-cracking Jennifer Carpenter was to play Angela, the doomed reporter and it began to slowly pique our interests.  The trailer however confused us as it literally gave away the film’s final shot.  To my surprise, Quarantine proved to be a worthy companion piece to the original Spanish bound to be cult classic.  Although, the same doomed fates and events occur in both films, viewers were treated to bonus gore tactics and because there was far more character development with the firefighters, it made the film that much more suspenseful.  I recommend viewing this remake to any hardcore horror fan if only to see the general audience members flip out about the spoiled ending.

4. FUNNY GAMES

Unlike Gus Van Sant’s atrocious and pointless shot for shot remake of Psycho,

Michael Haneke’s Funny Games had a purpose for being remade.  Earlier this year, Haneke released the remake to his controversial Austrian horror film and it shocked audiences worldwide.  By remaking Funny Games in English and with a recognizable cast, he somehow was able to make it a much more disturbing experience than the first time around.  Haneke was able to take his obscure festival circuit hit and turn it into the ‘Lambada of American Cinema.’  The film introduced to mainstream filmgoers to horror filmed in real time and unconventional techniques like the breaking of the fourth wall.  This movie deserves to be commended as it was able to punish its audience severely for being used to the conventions of mainstream thrillers.  The fact that the most frightening moment takes place off-screen while a character is making a sandwich, just proves how powerful this movie really is.

3. THE RUINS

Earlier this year, a movie came out that unfortunately was bitch slapped by Screen Gem’s shameful Prom Night remake.  That movie was Carter Smith’s The Ruins. The movie was an adaptation to Scott Smith’s controversial novel by the same name, and for anyone that read the book before viewing the film was in for a much welcome twist.  Author and screenwriter, Scott Smith managed to switch around character personalities and fatalities to confuse the readers of the novel. Stacey wasn’t spacey and Jeff wasn’t crazy. The character changes really amped up the actors’ performances. (Especially Miss Laura Ramsey) Although in my opinion, Aaron Ashmore’s character was completely hallowed out. A lot of people were turned off by the initial premise of a killer plant even though the movie is far more disturbing than its synopsis. If you haven’t watched this spine-tingling survival horror, please do so immediately.

2. INSIDE

I didn’t originally want to put this intense horror film on the list due to the fact that most hardcore horror fans first glimpsed the film in late 2007, but because it was released on DVD this year, I thought I should comment on it. Inside is easily one of the scariest movies I have ever seen in my lifetime.  It is the only movie that made me fear a female killer as much as I fear Michael Myers. It is a wild roller coaster ride that not only crossed the line….it proudly pole-vaulted across it. Show this at a movie night and your friends will never forgive you. (hehehe)

1. THE STRANGERS

I know, I know. My top pick is very mainstream and on most lists it would only be listed as an honourable mention, but what can I say? The Strangers hit me hard and did not disappoint me in terms of scares and my expectations.  The rumoured unofficial remake to Ils had frightening villains , a kick ass score done by the amazing TomandAndy duo, great onscreen performances, (even from Scott Speedman) and a chilling ending that pulled the rug from right under its audiences and brought tears to this reviewer’s eyes. (This is no Vacancy I can tell you that!)  Despite its paper-thin script and its far too revealing marketing campaign, The Strangers still gets my number one spot for it was able to integrate foreign horror film tactics into a mainstream world.  I hope it’s the catalyst for some much needed change in the genre.

Honorable Mentions: Let The Right One in, Rogue, Midnight Meat Train, 100 Feet, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Donkey Punch, The Cottage, Home Movie and Eden Lake

Good Films I have yet to see:

Trick r Treat

Surveillance

Time Crimes

Dance of the Dead

THE BAD:

The Lost Boys: The Tribe-This is the sequel that took twenty years in the making? Did fans really need to see flamboyant surfer vampires? Did Kiefer Sutherland’s hard to understand half-brother really need to be cast as the main villain? Was Corey Haim’s horrid cameo at the end really necessary? If you answered ‘no’ to all of the above, then you are correct.  Two sharp fangs down!

One Missed Call-One Missed Call=one and a half hours of your life missed if you watched this drivel.  I hope the pay check was worth it Edward Burns.

Mirrors- This was a HUGE disappointment from Alexandre Aja.  It felt like the movie was written around Amy Smart’s infamous “jaw-dropping” bathtub scene. (awesome!)  Is it just me or does Kiefer Sutherland only know how to play Jack Bauer anymore?

Tokyo Gore Police-My friend and I fell asleep at the Midnight screening of this. Granted, we were fairly drunk at the time, but considering the title, sleep shouldn’t have been an option.  Surprisingly enough, we weren’t the only ones who fell asleep.  A disappointed follow-up to the highly entertaining Machine Girl if you ask me.

Mother of Tears-Hardcore Argento fans have been patiently waiting for the third and final instalment to the ‘Three Mothers’ trilogy since the early eighties. I have no idea why Argento felt this horrible mess of a movie was the conclusion horror fans have been salivating for.  Warning: Do not watch with your family.  I can’t begin to describe how embarrassing it is to view a witch eat someone’s intestines from their ass with your mother in the room.

Diary of the Dead-Although the film had a great concept, the execution of it was disappointing. Asides from some cool kills and a strong opening, George Romero’s latest ‘Dead’ installment was DOA due to its heavy-handed social commentary and its Razzie-awarding winning performances.

Prom Night-Do I really need to state why this movie belongs on the bad list? Really?  Well…because so many idiots out there went to see this in theatres, expect many pointless remakes to come. Joy.

THE UGLY:

Movies I wouldn’t touch with a 40 foot pole:

TWILIGHT( Yeah…I said it!)

The Haunting of Molly Hartley

The Eye remake

Saw 5

The Mummy 3

BEST AND WORST AWARDS:

Best Trend of the year: CINEMA VERITE

The handheld horror sub-genre hit hard with a strong force this year. I guess a lot of people learned to take Gravol beforehand for their motion sickness.

Worst Trend of the Year: RIPPED OUT ABORTIONS

Great minds think alike. Apparently, so do perverted minds as well. I still have no idea how it is possible I watched FOUR films (which include Deaden, End of the Line, The Lost, and Inside) that had fetuses ripped out women.  This needs to stop. NOW.

Comeback of the Year: HORROR TV SHOWS

In 2008, shows like Dexter, True Blood, and the short-lived, Fear Itself have been receiving great ratings and critical recognition. Here’s hoping 2009 bring more horror to the small screen.

Breakout Author of the Year: JACK KETCHUM

Jack Ketchum adaptations are extremely hot right now in the horror genre. Projects like Girl Next Door, The Lost, and Red have hit fans in the jugular and I have a feeling this is only the beginning of disturbing adaptations to come.

PISS OFF OF THE YEAR: STUDIOS DUMPING THEIR MOVIES

It’s as if all studios have given up hope on their projects.  Lionsgate bitchslapped Repo! The Genetic Opera and Midnight Meat Train severely for reasons unknown.

Movies like Pathology and Eric Red’s 100 Feet also were given the cold shoulder.  It’s foolish decisions like this that increase illegal downloading.

HERE’S TO 2009 and hopefully we won’t be bombarded with horror remakes! Have a Happy New Year!

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