In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds hits Blu-ray and DVD on December 27th, 2011.

Dolph Lundgren (The Expendables, Masters of the Universe) stars as Granger, a lethal ex-Special Forces soldier who finds himself transported back to a mystical age of sorcery, dragons, and savage hand-to-hand combat. This modern-day warrior has been summoned to defeat the forces of darkness and fulfill an ancient prophecy. But as he fights his way to the truth, Granger learns no one can be trusted — and one wrong move could cost him not only his life but the future of his world.

Source: Dread Central

Well, Shock Til You Drop is reporting that Uwe Boll will be directing the fourth installment in the franchise, and will once again bring back Natassia Malthe. No word on plot details or when production would start.

Widely recognized as the planet’s worst film director, Uwe Boll embarks on a quest to conquer Hollywood and take vengeance upon the film fanatics striving to destroy him. Filmed over three years on and off the set, ‘Raging Boll’ is a walk in the shoes of a man people love to hate.

The Film:

Holy Uwe Boll!

If his name doesn’t immediately make you smile or groan than this film certainly won’t be for you, despite the accessibility of the subject – video game adaptation, hot girls, vampires, and Nazis – Bloodrayne: The Third Reich is well, I hate to delve into cliches when writing, but damn it, here it goes: it’s easily his best film. I think maybe the cliched statement there won’t be my issue, it’ll be the paradox I just threw myself into.

I think Boll is an odd paradox. Here’s a director that to escape obscurity in the DTV market, purposely bit his lip and exclaimed “I’m not a bad director!” only to evoke the Internet base into pouncing on top of him. Luckily, he’s somewhat protected by a small, loyal group, that agree. We all know the awful Bollness: House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, In the Name of the King. But truthfully, his Bloodrayne wasn’t that bad, and in fact, is mildly fun in all of the ways we would expect. Bad acting, hot chicks, silly costumes, and the like. Or maybe I’m just too consumed in thinking about Kristanna Loken, but I recall Bloodrayne not being that bad.

So for The Third Reich,  Boll has listened to fans (?) in returning this loosely adapted video game movie to its origins: Nazi Germany. So there’s little to this addition besides the time and place, and that’s a shame, because its mindless fun, actually. So Rayne teams up with some rebels who love killing Nazis, the Nazis have her blood and are turning into Daywalkers for the ultimate supremacy, and we got time for a threesome (all girls), and a random sex scene. Star Natassia Malthe is easy on the eyes, but she lacks the strength Loken gave the character at times naturally. Clint Howard turns in a devilishly cheesy performance as a Nazi scientist.

The snow-filled roads and landscapes really aid the cold cinematography, making the production slick and of quality. Of course, this film mimics Selene and the Underworld series to a fault, but it’s perfect, mindless, campy fun, which is what you want for a time-waster until Screen Gems releases the next Underworld. I mean, things ain’t all that bad when there’s an all-girl threesome sequence and the film with Rayne surprising Nazi scum with this exclaim: “Guten Tag, motherf*ckers!” Oh, and it’s barely 75 minutes (which makes us curious to what would have been cut? It’s a super short movie anyway!).

The Blu-ray:

Audio/Video: Phase 4 Films offers up a slick looking transfer in HD. Colors are often just blue or gray, but they’re eye-catching and somewhat gorgeous. You might be surprised by the HD video, it’s really well done. The DTS track is nice; loud, bass-heavy, and active, just like any decent action sound mix should be.

Commentary: Director Uwe Boll and writer Michael Nachoff offer up a chatty, candid look at the film. While both are a little too serious, there’s plenty of info and Boll’s candid display of affection, yet realization that some things are up to stuff, is refreshing.

A plain Jane Making of that offers up plenty of interviews, but no real insight, Trailers, and a quick interview with screenwriter Nachoff, round out the extras.

The Film: Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

The Blu-ray: Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

In the ironically named city of Paradise, a recently laid-off loser teams up with his cult-leading uncle to steal a peculiar bounty of riches from their local amusement park; somehow, the recently arrived Taliban have a similar focus, but a far more sinister intent.

“Half-vampire, half-human, Rayne hides in the shadows slaughtering vampires and those that get in her way. In 1943 Europe, during World War II, Rayne faces her greatest foe, a growing army of undead Nazi soldiers led by Ekart Brand, a top Nazi official turned day-walker. Rayne must team up with a group of Resistance Fighters to defeat Brand and his vampire troops before they return to Berlin and attempt to transform Hitler into a vampire and attain immortality.”

Half-vampire, half-human, Rayne hides in the shadows slaughtering vampires and those that get in her way. In 1943 Europe, during World War II, Rayne faces her greatest foe, a growing army of undead Nazi soldiers led by Ekart Brand, a top Nazi official turned day-walker. Rayne must team up with a group of Resistance Fighters to defeat Brand and his vampire troops before they return to Berlin and attempt to transform Hitler into a vampire and attain immortality.

Source: Dread Central

No word on a release date.

He’s essentially the son of Jason Statham’s character, according to Arrow. Hilariously enough, here’s a direct quote from Boll to Screen Junkies on the film (try to transcribe this!): “…like contemporary, right now big city, and we have Dolph Lundgren basically being a cop or like a fighting coordinator working as this, and one night he gets attacked by ninjas in his house and fell with the ninjas into a vortex back in time. And then it turns out it’s like 50 years after the first part IN THE NAME OF THE KING ended, and Ehb is destroyed and everybody is dead, Jason Statham and everybody who was in the first part, got wiped out. They say he was basically sent into the future he’s the son of Jason Statham, and he was sent into the future, brought up in an orphanage, because the parents felt that they would all die. So he is basically the last survivor of the kingdom of Ehb so he should bring the kingdom back in charge.”

Excited?

Blubberella – Official Trailer
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Bloodrayne: The Third Reich – Official Trailer
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Thoughts?

Source: Twitchfilm

This film goes back to the game’s original setting: Nazi Germany.

Source: Dread Central

Enter: Blubberella. “The first female fat superhero …She will kick major ass – with her major ass …

Known to shock, the infamous schlock master, now has a fat superhero film, and I bet you never would have thought that! The film stars Lindsay Hollister (Get Smart) as Blubberella, Clint Howard (Apollo 13), Michael Paré (BloodRayne), with a small part for Boll himself.

Sometimes, I wish it was constantly April Fool’s because, we really can’t make this stuff up.

The weather is acting cuckoo for cocoa puffs and the world is discombobulated as the end of days seem to be on the horizon when an apocalyptic force comes to town whose zip code used to be 90210. A husband [Steve Bacic] and wife [Lauren Holly] are visited by a stranger named Silas [Luke Perry], a man who has come in from the perfect storm and bears a strange tattoo on his back. After the devastation has cleared, most of civilization has pulled a vanishing act after the blood moon rises and plot holes large enough for semi-trucks to drive through litter the highway.

I would have given my left testicle to have Roland Emmerich blow his nose and have some of his pizaaz make its way to the set of this Uwe Boll catastrophe. Upon first glance, the flick could have played on all of the 2012 hysteria, but instead it is Little House on the Prairie meets The Seventh Sign. Give me that preggo Demi Moore movie from 1988 anyday over this preachy squakfest that plays more like a drama than a straight thriller. The outfit that Luke Perry stuffs himself in made him look like he was hunting for Thanksgiving vittles, but little did he realize that turkey dinner already arrived in the form of this gobbler.

Postal, Rampage, and Seed derailed a few of Uwe Boll’s detractors and made a fan out of me. With The Final Storm, he goes back and pulls another razzie out of his hat with a root canal of a time-waster that will have you grinding your teeth and looking at your watch in misery.

Rating Rating: 1 out of 5 stars