The Final Destination

Even with the gimmick of 3-D and the return of Final Destination 2‘s director David Ellis, this film was a complete disaster. The plot was barely there, the look of the film felt like a bad SyFy channel movie, and even worse is the script. The script is filled with not only horrible dialogue, generic kills, one dimensional characterization, but depressingly bad stereotypes of African-African characters. They are never once called by their name, only their job title, and a bum character tells the white hero he saved the day. Ouch, and ugly. Truly the final destination for this franchise. (Read the original review here.)

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I’ll say positive thing about this train wreck: it has the makings of one fine Rifftrack. Horrible CG, goofy dialogue, and a over-the-top performances make this possibly fun idea, into a bad film. Why is there a slew of flashbacks? Drink a shot every time one happens, it’s the G.I. Joe drinking game! Even for nostalgia purposes, it’s a waste. (Read the original review here.)

Halloween II

As much as I like Rob Zombie, his music, his genre love, his Haunted World of Superbeasto and Devil’s Rejects, his take on Halloween is a mess. Even though I felt he had some promise for a no holds barred sequel, Zombie again drops the ball, by making a confusing boring slasher. Michael Myers isn’t scary here; he’s a bum-looking man, an interesting angle, yet Zombie never does much with it. The whole mask story of the first film is wasted, as if Zombie felt the need to get rid of the iconic mask. Ugh. The movie is like a visual stick-in-the-mud. (Read the original review here.)

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

It’s nothing but a product for a quick buck, that’s all this unneeded sequel was. The formula is tired, the 3-D was unimpressive, and it’s humor is generic. I don’t doubt that your kids have scratched up the first two films on DVD, so luckily for them, 20th Century Fox made this. How else do you explain the money it made? (Read the original review here.)

The Limits of Control

I don’t understand Jim Jarmusch, and I didn’t understand this spy film. Great performances are wasted in a confusing slapdash of double-speak and aimlessness. A character moves left to right, sits down, speaks a few syllables and leaves. There’s the movie right there. The only thing more tedious than watching this film, is watching paint dry. (Read the original review here.)

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

A lucky direct-to-DVD film that got a theatrical release, we’re treated to some very generic comedy. tons of fat jokes that wear thin fast, a silly plot, predictable, you’d think Kevin James would be in better vehicles for his “routine”, but maybe not. This film was number one at the box office for two straight weeks, making over a $100 million dollars too. People, I thought we were in a Recession? This film came out nearly 11 months ago, and it’s still lingered in my mind with its awfulness. (Read the original review here.)

Pink Panther 2

Steve Martin is better than this. He’s funnier than this. It’s amazing that he’s so unfunny here, that the supporting cast gets a chuckle or two out of us. Same old, same old. At least the wonderful Emily Mortimer makes sitting through this bearable. Hopefully, this rebooted franchise dies, so poor Peter Sellers can stop rolling in his grave. (Read the original review here.)

Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li

The film got little marketing and for a good reason: it’s just plain horrendous. Weak fighting, a plot as deep as a piece of paper, bad casting choices (Chris Klein as a Special Ops dude? Really?!), and one bargain basement explosion FX that sums it all up. Maybe video games aren’t suppose to be made into movies? Here’s a prime example, if we needed another one. (Read the original review here.)

Transylmania

This is an actual direct-to-DVD shown theatrically. Capitalizing on the Twilight craze, we’re treated to a an incredibly stupid film that tries to be like those Disaster Movie spoofs. Like those, it fails, becuase it’s unfocused and worst of all, it’s not funny. Pass. (Read the original review here.)

Year One

Harold Ramis should know better. This film could’ve been way funnier, and judging by the recycled jokes that led to some minor chuckles, one should fear a Ghostbusters 3. Michael Cera and Jack Black are game as cave men, but the religious-based setting isn’t a good idea for some generic jabs at the Old Testament. Not because I’m religious or anything, but it’s ground that isn’t ripe for humor. Or maybe Ramis lost it? That’s more likely. (Read the original review here.)

Look again for my Best Films of 2009 here. The worst is over! On to 2010! Did I miss a film? What were your worst films of the year? Feel free to leave a comment below!

More so now than ever before in Hollywood, are we seeing remakes, sequels, reboots, offshoots, of our favorite franchises and characters. Think about this year. We’ve seen the return of some welcomed and unwelcomed returns of characters we didn’t think we’d see. Dominic Toretto from Fast & Furious, Jason Voorhess in Friday the 13^th, Inspector Clouseau in Pink Panther 2, and heck, one could even assume Walt Kowalski from Gran Torino, is some alias for Dirty Harry.

But I feel as if Hollywood is missing out not bringing back certain characters we love and hate. I don’t know the reason why, but this list compiles characters I feel are wanted back in cinema. I left off obvious ones, especially if we know sometime soon they’ll be back, and I left off characters we love that we know there will never be a sequel for. So don’t get mad if Tyler Durden isn’t here or Charles Foster Kane. Without further ado, here’s Killer Film’s Top 10 Characters We’d like to See Come Back!

10 – Leon from The Professional (1994): I know he valiantly died at the end, but you know how Hollywood works, if it’s a hit, they’ll find a way to bring back a dead character. Maybe some assignment prior to this film? Leon (Jean Russo) is a great character: a natural loner, but warm and compassionate. Luc Besson has made a career of giving us badass characters, so why not bring back Leon? Possibility? None. But at least Besson gave us Bryan Mills in Taken.

9 – Nikolai from Eastern Promises (2007): Viggo Mortensen’s Nikolai was just getting started at the end of this film. Besides successfully infiltrated a Russian mob family, and overthrowing the head honcho and his son, he a meantattooed dude who will kick your butt, even if he’s naked! I think with a solid screenplay and David Cronenberg coming back, who wouldn’t love to see how far Nikolai goes into being undercover? Possibility? There’s been talks of a sequel, with Viggo and Cronenberg both interested, but nothing concrete yet.

8 – Matt Murdock/Daredevil from Daredevil (2003): It seems almost natural to talk about further adventures on screen for superheroes today, so why haven’t we seen a Daredevil 2? I know some people didn’t care for this film, or couldn’t get past Ben Affleck in the title role, and while I’ll say the Director’s Cut is a better film, why hasn’t Marvel/Fox gone the route they did for Hulk? Just reboot it! I, for one, think there are plenty of great stories left untold from Daredevil, so bring him back! Possibility? Right now, zilch. But I can see them bringing him back, especially if something like Thor is a hit. Remember, Daredevil did make over a $100mil at the box office in a February date.

7 – Leslie Vernon from Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006): Ever masked serial killer comes back for a sequel, and while that’s an obvious cliché, Leslie Vernon is a complete satire on cliches. I feel, and I know Donny does too, that there’s plenty of steam left in Leslie’s tank. The film is fun, original, and maybe what the Scream films should have been. Leslie in the film, aspired to be the next great killer, and even a mediocre killer gets a sequel. Possibility? Well, there’s been talks, and until I see a trailer, I won’t believe Leslie will be back.

6 – Riddick from Chronicles of Riddick (2004): For reasons that are a bit of a mystery to me, people dislike Vin Diesel. I think he’s cool and an ass kicker, and his Riddick character is his best role yet. Pitch Black is a great flick, and while Chronicles of Riddick might have over-achieved a bit in ideas, the character is as good as any badass killer this side of the 1980s. David Towhy didn’t deserve the slap he did for the Chronicles of Riddick that he did, and while it did make money, obviously not enough to please Universal. At the end of that film, it left us on a cliffhanger. I want to see where it goes. Possibility? Well, his Xander Cage from XXX is coming back, and there’s a new Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena game out, so it that sells good, if the Blu Ray of the two prior films sell good, and if XXX3 does good (much like Fast & Furious did), then I think Riddick will be back.

5 – Catwoman from Batman Returns (1992): I know there’s a hideous “spin off” film out there, but I want to see the damaged, deranged, dangerous Seline Kyle that Michelle Pfeiffer put on screen. I love her fragile psychosis in that film, as she was absolutely beautiful, but a worth foe for Bats. Plus, that was one of the best all-time costumes, not to mention, Tim Burton’s take on the character, being one of his most developed female character. At the end of Batman Returns, we see the Batsignal and they her head pops up showing us she isn’t dead. Bring this Catwoman back. Possibility? As for a solo adventure again, I think the Halle Berry version killed that idea, but she could return in Nolan’s third Batman film. But as the Burton/Pfeiffer collaboration, she’s as good as 9 lives dead.

4 – Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988): Besides being a great film, a great piece of the marriage of live action/cell animation, Roger Rabbit is a great character. A fun, clever spin on the Looney Tunes-type of characters, he’s perfect for more adventures. I mean, if we have to sit through a Madagascar 2 and an Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, let’s do our kids a favor and bring back Roger Rabbit and yes, Jessica Rabbit too. Charles Fleischer, the voice of Roger Rabbit is still around…Possibility? Outside of a few shorts they made around the time of this film’s release, there’s been nothing. I once remembered some talks, but again nothing.

3 - Beetlejuice from Beetlejuice (1988): If this film was made today, you would see a sequel within 2 years, guaranteed. Michael Keaton is still around not doing anything, Burton’s making a wanna be sequel in his take of Alice in Wonderland, so why not? He’s fun, mischievous, and his world has endless opportunities for his misbehaving ways to excited us. Possibility? Zip, sadly. Why don’t we all just do this: “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”

2 – Capt. Mal from Serenity (2005): If a film ever deserved more love, it’s Joss Whedon’s Serenity. First of all, the TV series was superb, but Fox canceled it. Then the film supposedly under preforms. Nathan Fillion established himself as a 100% badass, something we haven’t seen since Han Solo put down his blaster. Mal is always cool and witty, no matter what the circumstances. He’s someone I would ride off into the depths of space with (in a non-gay way). Possibility? I heard that if Serenity sold well on DVD, then Universal would consider a sequel. I personally know it did, as well as the TV series, Firefly, so that damn suits need to give us what we want!

And the number one character we want to see come back…

1 – Frank Black from Millennium (1996-1999): A vastly under appreciated TV series, has sparked a cult following as loyal as any. The stories were dark and mature, and while this show was Cris Carter’s kissing cousin idea to The X-Files, I was never bored with the themes, stories, or Black. Lance Hendricksen will forever be an awesome actor and all around badass, but he needs to come back for one last apocalyptic threat. I know the show ended before Y2k (kind of the point) and his character appeared in an episode of The X-Files to “end his story”, but I think I speak for the people when I say “We want Frank Black back!” Possibility? Carter has had talks recently about bringing him back, and I know Lance would do it, it’s just X-Files: I Want to Believe bombed so bad, Frank might just stay retired forever.

Agree or disagree? Leave a comment below or email me at jon@killerfilm.com

Time flies when you are watching movies-a lot of movies, and 2009 has already reached its halfway point. Here at Killer Film, we try to catch as much of the films being released as possible, and we would like to present our 2009 Mid Year Report. Keep it mind, this is only what we have seen, and we can safely say we wish we’ve seen more, but we do still have the second half of the year to catch up. Without further ado, here’s our take of 2009 so far.

Quick Thoughts on the Year so far…

Donny: While I love horror, drama, documentary, and every other genre of film out there, my favorite by far is comedy.  In my opinion there is nothing better than watching good joke unfold on screen, but on the other hand if said joke doesn’t work (Year One) then my beloved genre falls flat on its face.  Luckily, this year we’ve had some amazing comedies grace us with their undeniable funny.  So far my favorites include; The Hangover, Adventureland, I Love You, Man, and the awesome direct to DVD 18 Year Old Virgin.  I’m also looking forward to Funny People and I want to see mega-hottie Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body.  Lets hope the rest of the year offers up the good to make this year more than mediocre.  

Jon: I think so far, it’s been a decent year as of July 1st. A few select films are really worth seeing, others are okay. I suspect the rest of the year will have great documentaries, as I haven’t seen much so far released this year. I have enjoyed seeing studios taking chances on unique films like Watchmen, Observe and Report, and The Hangover, and that’s refreshing. 3-D films have been big and constantly pushed, a trend we will see more of. For the most part, 2009 started off slow, for me, and is just now picking up. See you all at the end of the year!

Serena: Being a huge horror aficionada, I was disappointed by the initial lackluster horror films slashing their way to the big screen, but I was quite surprised by how exceptionally well done the mainstream horror fare was this year. I also was blown away by some hidden gems like Pontypool, Dead Snow and The Children (my fave film of 2009 so far) that all reminded us why foreign films are owning the horror genre these days.  However, most of the big budget anticipated action films of 2009 have all left a bad taste in this reviewer’s mouth.  So far 2009’s films are a far cry from last year’s jam-packed list, but I’m looking forward to being entertained by Jake West’s Doghouse, Diablo Cody’s anticipated horror follow-up, Jennifer’s Body and to see how Juno is going to react to being left for dead in a cave in The Descent 2. 

Now, to the good stuff….

Best Films

Donny: The Hangover, I Love You, Man, Adventureland , Che

Jon: Pixar’s Up, Goodbye Solo, and Che

Serena: The Children,  Pontypool, The Last House on the Left, Drag me to Hell

Worst Films

Donny: Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Bride Wars, Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li

Jon: Pink Panther 2, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li

Serena: Bride Wars, Obsessed and Transformers 2 (sorry Donny! )

One Honorable Mention Pick

Donny: Downloading Nancy

Jon: The Girlfriend Experience 

Serena:  Downloading Nancy

Best Comedy

Donny: I Love You, Man

Jon: I Love You, Man

Serena: I Love You, Man

Best Horror:

Donny: Drag Me to Hell

Jon: Drag Me to Hell

Serena: The Children

Best Limited Release/Direct-to-DVD

Donny: 18 Year Old Virgin

Jon: Medicine for Melancholy

Serena: Pontypool

Best Direct-to-DVD Horror Film

Donny: Laid to Rest

Jon: Laid to Rest

Serena: Acolytes

Best 2008 Film Seen in 2009

Donny: How to Alienate People and Lose Friends

Jon: Waltz with Bashir

Serena: How to Alienate People and Lose Friends

One Film We Regrettably Missed 

Donny: Pontypool

Jon: Hunger

Serena: Adventureland

One Film We are Glad We Missed

Donny: Dance Flick

Jon: Dance Flick 

Serena: The Unborn

Well, we said ours, so what are yours? Tell us in the forums, comment below, or email us at donny@killerfilm.com and jon@killerfilm.com . Keep it here at Killer Film for more reviews, features, interviews, and news, and see you at the movies!

The Film:

After seeing this movie, I recalled my favorite part of the film: the opening title sequence where the Pink Panther outwits that short pudgy white guy. Yeah, so my favorite part, one where I smiled, was the title sequence. Pink Panther 2 is a limp, unfunny farce.  Poor Peter Sellers, he should be rolling in his grave now.The cast here is excellent on paper: Andy Garcia, Steve Martin of course, Alfred Molina, and Jean Reno, all of which are highly capable of given us the attention needed, and all are great actors. But on this paper, the script gave none of them anything worthwhile to do, unless you count the zillion times they roll their eyes at Inspector Clouseau (Martin) for all of his seemingly dimwitted antics. The world’s most precious artifacts, paintings, and jewels are being robbed by le Tornado, an excellent, and impossible-to-catch criminal. So a Dream Team is created from various nations to stop him, but the only problem is nobody even knows what he looks like.

The plot is rudimentary, compared to the endless series of falls, and lame attempts at making us laugh. Any screenwriter in Screenwriting 101 could come up with these types of “jokes”, so it’s incredibly sad that the man who brought us The Jerk, Roxanne, and “Two Wild and Crazy Guys”, is credited here. Steven Martin is better than this. I think he knows it. Look at Shop Girl. I guess we live in times where it’s what have you done for us lately and not what have you done, because all these aging comedians seem to be doing filler, and not testing their talents anymore. Pink Panther 2 is lazy and uninspiring.

One of the absolutely few, redeeming elements is Emily Mortimer who plays Nichole the love interest, reprising her role from the first film. She is so delightful in the little amount she has to do, channeling a Superman-era Margot Kidder, with all those mannerisms of cuteness, naiveté, and that bubbly attitude. She’s a rare delight in this painfully long film (it’s only like 89 minutes, but felt like hours!). Emily Mortimer was great in Transsiberian last year, obviously a far better film, but she shines here in her scenes with Martin. A special mention to Jeremy Irons too, because he always hams it up properly, as the red herring in the film. Outside of Mortimer and the Iron’s cameo, the cast is wasted, Martin’s talent is wasted, and so is your time.

The DVD:

Audio/Video: While this was screener copy sent by 20^th Century Fox, a common practice amongst them, I can’t really judge the disc properly. It looked good, but I feel the store copy you’ll rent or buy will be better. There was some edge enhancement and noise occasionally. The audio is good too, for a comedy. Expect better though on the store release copy.

Drama is Easy… and A Dream Team like No Other, plus a Gag Reel were the extras here on the screener disc. They’re better than expected, but far from highly informative. Decent watches if you so choose. Now, the Blu Ray will have more extras.

Conclusion: A limp sequel, up there as 2009′s worst so far, despite my love of Emily Mortimer.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars

Welcome back to New Release Tuesday for June 23^rd! Be sure to click on the cover art to buy from Amazon!

Waltz with Bashir

An incredible documentary, perfectly animated for a key reason. See this now. Also on Blu Ray. Jon says: Buy Donny says: Buy

Inkheart

A wanna-be Harry Potter, based on some book series (what isn’t these days?) and it highly mediocre. Also on Blu Ray. Jon says: Rent Donny says: Rent

Pink Panther 2

Totally unfunny, and might be one of 2009′s worst films, although Emily Mortimer is delightful. Also on Blu Ray. Jon says: Avoid Donny says: Avoid

Confessions of a Shopaholic

I always confuse Amy Adams and this film’s star, Ilsa Fisher, together. I don’t know why. Also on Blu Ray. Jon says: Avoid Donny says: Rent

New to Blu

Nothing worth mentioning.

Wow, weak week, but get to saving, because the next few months are stacked. Keep it here for more news and review only on Killer Film!