Hollywood Recycling
Is Hollywood Just Recycling the Same Movies?
After watching many people do their part to lead eco-friendly lives by implementing the three R’s on Earth Day, it occurred to me that Hollywood has also been employing the three R’s into its films. In recent years, we have seen Hollywood reduce the rating, reuse the name and recycle the premise of countless films, however, there is nothing eco-friendly about reprocessed entertainment. In fact, it has become the film industry’s ironic way of littering.
These days it seems that Hollywood puts as much effort into its film projects as a male sports fanatic does while wiping his ass in a bathroom stall during a live event and the results are generally the same—lazy, sloppy and generally only have embarrassing skid marks to show for it.
Although the myriad of remakes and sequels are generally guilty of this hindering phenomenon, it is the so called “original” and stand alone films that are supportive and accountable for the creativity being sucked out of cinema today. This year alone, I have discovered a group of films with stories that we have seem numerous times before, only proving to be unofficial remakes without the copyright infringement. Here are some examples that show how 2009 is the year of cinematic déjà vu.
Obsessive and Psychotic Women Films
Every few years or so, we are reminded how gosh darn emotional women can get and we have Glenn Close’s infamous and crazy character in Fatal Attraction to thank for that. Being a member of the fairer sex, I have always cursed that film because it gave women a bad name. Although with the introduction of the “f*ck buddy” phenomenon that has affected many lives in recent years, (thanks Sex and the City!) I have seen all of my female friends and acquaintances who have been jilted at one point pull off revenge tactics as pathetic as conveniently “missing” periods, to as extreme as “suicide” attempts involving too many Menstrual Tylenol pills on an empty stomach. These chaotic emotional turns are why movies like this month’s Obsessed will continue to flourish at the box office. The only good that will come of this will be for men to reconsider ending their convenient winter relationships so quickly.
Age Switch Films
After Big, did we really NEED another film about someone miraculously (and might I add implausibly) ageing forwards and/or backwards overnight? After watching Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo and Gollum foolishly recreate the “Thriller” dance in 2004’s Big rip-off 13 Going on 30, you would think audiences would be scarred enough, but 2009’s 17 Again has proven that viewers are gluttons for punishment. How people could think predictable and immature dialogue, unknowing incestuous crushes and a geek to chic story is still engaging today is beyond me. If I had to watch 17 Again, I would want to be ‘2 hours younger again’ after the film was through.
Bloated Political Thrillers
Every year, we are introduced to yet another political thriller with an ensemble cast that is guaranteed to win over high and mighty critics and bore general viewers. This year is no exception with Kevin Macdonald’s State of Play. I have seen enough of these bloated films to know there are certain rules that they usually always abide by.
Rule 1: The least shown celebrity in the film is the villain.
Rule 2: The most exciting and gripping sequence will take place in a parking garage.
Rule 3: The end will not resolve any romantic subplot in the film.
Rule 4: There will be at least two red herrings that are as easy to spot as Tori Spelling’s eating disorder.
If you still succumb to watching celebrities blatantly trying to win Oscar nominations for these glorified paycheck films in the theatres, please feel free to go to the washroom when the “pregnancy test-friendly” fountain sodas hit your bladder and treat yourself to a huge bag of popcorn, because it will most likely be the only thing you will remember about the film. 
Interracial Romance Dramas
Since watching Katherine Houghton’s character bring Sidney Poitier home to meet her parents in 1967’s Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, the world has been made fully aware how taboo the subject of interracial dating can be. Although despite the fact that times have changed and we have a biracial President in Office, movies like 2009’s Hilary Duff’s interracial teen drama Greta are still being made.
Being biracial myself, I always welcome movies about interracial relationships, but I’m actually really tired of seeing films ABOUT the STRUGGLES of being in an interracial relationship. Being half white and half black, I have dealt with different things, but since I’ve always been and always will be in interracial relationships, I can honestly tell you that majority of people don’t get offended by seeing two people together from different cultures or backgrounds anymore. In fact where I’m from, it’s actually rare to see two people of the same race together nowadays. (We’re not living in the fifties anymore!)
That’s probably why I liked the show Heroes so much. (*Note the word ‘liked.’) The show actually has characters in interracial relationships and they don’t deal with the struggles of being in one. They’re just right for each other, and that’s all. Although racism still exists, (it will never go away) it’s not a factor that affects my life everyday. I would really like movies to actually do what Heroes does, instead of constantly writing the dated and stereotypical “good wholesome white girl falling for a black guy from the streets” story we have seen time and time again.
PG-13 Hauntings and American J-Horror Rip-offs
Since 2000’s American remake The Ring scared viewers world-wide, the J-Horror remake trend took over the horror genre, but now that French and British horror films have been ironically winning over horror geeks everywhere, the always inferior J-horror remakes have been thankfully disappearing. Unfortunately this has led to many films that homage many J-horror films. If that’s not enough, viewers are still being put through CW-infused PG-13 “based on actual events” haunting films as well and it makes the devout horror geek inside want to scream. This year’s The Unborn, The Haunting in Connecticut and even Sam Raimi’s upcoming and highly anticipated Drag me to Hell all display signs of J-horror and haunting overload. There has got to be something scarier than seeing dead women with stringy black hair, CGI ghosts and strategically placed boo scares all the time.
Home Invasions Films Involving Tigers and Hurricanes
Okay…that hasn’t been done before, but seriously there is an upcoming horror film called Burning Bright this year involving Garrett Dillahunt and a brother and sister hiding from a tiger in their house during a hurricane storm. I am sold on the premise alone. I just wanted an excuse to bring this to readers’ attentions.
Despite Hollywood seeming to be completely devoid of ingenuity these days, it is the viewers that essentially keep the recycled film industry alive. Instead of spending your hard earned dollars at the theatres of films that are rip-offs of better films that you could get in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart, why not support independent features that actually put some effort into stimulating your brain? I say this because if I have to write about another inspirational teacher movie with a hip-hop soundtrack that accompanies it…I will most likely start a protest after some much needed puking.
