Vampire Killers – DVD Review

The Film:

Centuries ago the Vampire Queen Carmilla (Silvia Colloca) was brought forth out of the fiery pits of Hades with a quench for women and a hatred for men. Only one man could destroy her, a baron from the Crusades who has returned home to find his wife has been turned to the estrogen side. He unearths the sacred Book of Nekros and forges a sword which he uses to lop her head off, not before his bloodline is cursed by Camilla, therefore, turning every woman of the village into a Lesbian on their 18th birthday.

The last of the ancestral tree is a wanker named Jimmy (Mathew Horne), who has no self confidence and allows his girlfriend to break-up and come back to him when she pleases. His best chum Fletch (James Corden) is the complete opposite, the party type who just want to meet chicks, have a good time, and get laid. Fletch gets fired from his job as a clown after punching a boy in the face after being sprayed in the gonads with a seltzer bottle.

Bummed out, they decide to take a hiking trip to the small village of Cragwich and run into a busload of hot history students. They hole up in a cottage and get bombarded by Lesbian Vampires who are looking to bring back Carmilla with the bloody brew of Jimmy and a virgin (MyAnna Buring) that he is falling for. A vampire hunting Vicar joins the coterie and informs Jimmy what his true purpose is, and with the help of the Sword of Dialdo, they will take you for a goofy, gory, sexy good joyride.

The British horror-comedy has sure come into its own since Shaun of the Dead busted my gut back in 2004. Vampire Killers is more comedy than it is horror, as it really reminded me of The Hangover with fangs. The idea of friends getting together to help each other out because someone’s significant other is running their life, or they are getting married and there is no turning back is the new motif in humor. That’s not to say the horror is completely left out, there are plenty of sanguinary moments that had some sort of subliminal message to them. You see, the grue was not red at all, it is cream like, almost like it was insinuating that the naughty moments of the movie might be used in a masturbatory manner. There is ample skin and some french kissing, but the movie never fully embraces the mind-boggling horniness the original title promised.

The Weinstein Brothers decided to remove the Lesbian from the appellation and just call it Vampire Killers. I guess they were worried how many copies they could sell at Walmart and Target. Get over it guys.

The DVD:

Audio/Video: The widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio is perfectly suited for all the action coverage. The picture is crisp and clean allowing the colors to pop off the screen. Great stuff!

Extra Features: Do scene selections count?

Trailers: Planet Terror, The Zombie Diaries, Diary of the Dead.

Conclusion: A great hybrid along the lines of Black Sheep, Shaun of the Dead, and Zombieland. Thank you Wein$tein Brothers for giving the movie the shaft – you couldn’t even put the films trailer on it, and to add insult to injury, you altered the more catchy name.

The Film: Rating:

The DVD: Rating: