Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Review #2

What would Michael Bay do with a blank check for the budget to one of Paramount’s biggest films in recent years? Even I was curious, and a little excited to see it, not that I expected much, but he is Mr. Explosion. The end result is like giving a coke head free reign to all of Columbia’s cocaine. At first, it’s sort of amusing to see the coke head go ape wild with such access, but then half way through, you’ll feel a little sorry for witnessing such overkill. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the definite Michael Bay film, but such excess comes with a price.Everything is ramped up here. The action is bar none the best you’ll find this year, accompanied by some of ILM’s best FX in recent years, and a blistering sound design and sound editing, easily locking up some Oscar nominations for that technical brilliance. So Mr. Bay, really thank Erik Aadahl and ILM for firmly cementing you as what I affectionately titled you, The Best Second Unit Director of All-Time. Really, that’s all Revenge of the Fallen is; it’s just a series of incredible action set pieces, you know, the second unit stuff most directors leave to their second unit director. Bay acts as both, because that’s his thing. I don’t fault him for it. I fault him because with over 140 minutes of robot mayhem, he still didn’t have balls.

140 minutes of action Michael Bay style, and you’re saying he still didn’t have balls? Well, he wanted to make a movie, as long as this is, to be all action, all robots, all the time. It was almost there, except the screenplay called for those pesky humans. I will not rip on Shia or Megan Fox, because they both do a good job, Fox even more so this time. Even Bay seems bored with anything that doesn’t include robots or explosions. Take this pivotal scene: Sam (LaBeouf) is being asked by Mikaela (Megan Fox) if he loves her. This is the running subplot for the film and could give these characters an arc to build too. Bay is bored; he grabs his dolly and circles them like an action piece capturing all of the dialogue as it’s mini explosions. It’s incredibly dizzying, and the first sign that he didn’t want to be bothered with these scenes.

I also blame the script, although I enjoyed the simplistic nature of this robot war film, it’s just it starts ideas or story lines, and drops them for Bayisms. Don’t get me wrong here; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will be the best pure brain-dead action film this year. But even I, a fan of little things like character development, story arcs, themes, just wanted Bay to rip loose on this. He almost does, despite the insane amount of action already present. Everything with Optimus Prime, the Fallen One, Megatron, or Bumble Bee just simply kicks rear. This is the pinnacle of dumb action, so why not go all the way? That’s where Bay doesn’t have his balls. Who wouldn’t want to see Transformers blowing crap up for like 90 minutes? But at 140 minutes, we get more scenes with the army, and after a neat set up to their new role aiding the Autobots, it’s dropped, and an increasingly silly appearance by Sam’s mother. Each time she’s on screen, she gets more over-the-top, than the last scene. Humor is fine in this, I enjoyed it a bit more than the first film, but her scenes were stopping the film dead. Oh, and plot holes big enough to drop a few Fallen Ones into.

But take some time, go see it, and get out of the blistering summer heat. Just know that you are required to never mutter a thought during this, and even at that, how much can one person take of mindless, constant action? The film almost works in that regard, taking action to a new level not seen this summer. But action works better with drama behind the upcoming chase or fight, and that what this film lacks. So for Transformers 3, Mr. Bay, grow some balls and for 90 minutes just rip loose, because you and I know, Paramount will give you yet another blank check to do what you want. I want to see robots fighting constantly, and leave those humans out of the equation. Even you were bothered by them.

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