The Three Musketeers – Review

Alexandre Dumas is turning in his grave. The new Paul W.S. Anderson flick, The Three Musketeers is absolutely abismal. I refuse to spend more time than needed to describe the level of crap that is The Three Musketeers. I’ll start with a short list of reason why I despised this flick:

1. Flying machines don’t belong in this story.

2. Modern dialogue doesn’t work in this story.

3. I might have enjoyed it if it was instead titled, Resident Evil: Three Musketeers.

4. Did I mention the flying machines?

I really wanted to like this movie, I really, really did, but instead the flick made me miss the good old days when Charlie Sheen and Kiefer Sutherland were winning as the Musketeers. I know as a reviewer I’m supposed to go into great detail about the film, and all  the elements that make it a whole, but every time I think about the flick it reminds me of how the film takes a shit on a classic story. Enough said.

I feel like I should to tell our readers to see the film just to witness the utter disappointment that it truly is. Only, I don’t want to encourage a sequel (the ending preps for one). I understand that making a film isn’t easy, so with that said, I’m willing to give the film one star. I feel dirty.

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