The Last Song – Review

Oh, why must you make girls cry, forcing someone like myself to feel uncomfortable in the process while sitting in the theater, Nicholas Sparks? It’s not like I’m immune to love, or feeling emotions through a movie, but when it’s overly melodramatic, and forces us to feel love or sadness, yeah, no dice for Mr. Film Critic. The Last Song is a lot like watching mannequins in a picturesque environment have paternal issues. But The Last Song wasn’t made for Mr. Film Critic, as it was made for that little girl to my left, rolled up into a ball, eyes glued to the screen, readily crying at the film’s touching third act. She was the aim of the production, and in that regard, it hit right on target.

Ever since The Notebook made women cry into huge box office returns, Sparks’ books have been on the fast-track to the multiplex, but with the recent adaptations, I never found the love angle moving, but instead the paternal issues to be more involved and the real dramatic narrative to be hinged on that. Like Dear John, the romance sizzled before it began. In that film, Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried had little on screen chemistry, or at least something for us (maybe men?) to get involved with. The same goes for Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. I don’t care if they are involved in real life, on screen, there’s little between them. For Miley, it’s her big break away from Hannah Montana and for her fans, she’s good, for the rest of us, eh. She’s clearly still growing as an actress. Liam is an Abercrombie model, and as such, he is mechanical in every scene.

The real power of the film, especially in the third act, is the father/daughter subplot. Greg Kinnear anchors the film, and when he is involved with Miley, their scenes have that resonance need to make us feel, or cry. But Kinnear is an old pro, always finding the right note, and like Richard Jenkins in Dear John, we wish his story was the film’s focus point. At least it was in the book. This is Nicholas Sparks first screenplay, and he hasn’t nailed the right tone here, unlike the books. It’s not like the film is bad, it’s just not as good as it thinks. It’s just a shallow film based on pretty people and their “issues” with paid for soundtrack commercials at every other kiss. It doesn’t move people like me, but again, that little girl was so emotionally stressed from seeing her Miley go through what she goes through in the film, that I wish the film was really that good.

Rating: