The Killers – Blu-ray Review

The Film:

Men of a certain age: remember when you went to pick up a girl for a date and you had to meet her parents, the father is always really quiet and is either sharpening his knives or cleaning out his guns? The concerned father routine with the curious glare, you know that old tale? That’s The Killers, only cranked up with a $70 million budget and starring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher. Now I’m a little older, so I don’t have to meet the father until like date number 10, but I always found that scenario charming in a tired sort of way, but there’s nothing really charming about The Killers. It’s a flat, emotionless, by-the-numbers film, that soon becomes a tedious exercise in will power, challenging you to not leave the theatre.

Jennifer Kornfeldt (Heigl) has just been dumped, so her parents decide to take her to Nice, France to just get away and cut loose. Spencer Aimes (Kutcher) is a top-secret spy who wants a normal life doing normal, routine tasks. They meet, fall in love, he then wants out of the spy gig, but his employer says “no“. He disobeys, marries Jen, and has a happy little existence as a construction supervisor (how did he get that job?). But soon, as he nears his birthday, something seems off. Maybe it’s because unbeknown to him, there’s a $20 million dollar reward on his head, and everyone he has ever known is out to get him. Oh, and he must save his marriage because Jen can’t handle him as a spy.

If you were a little bored reading that synopsis, I feel you, because it was boring writing it. The Killers has a stale, leftovers feel to it, and does little to excite or be original. If it isn’t Jen’s (Heigl) odd relationship with her dad (played by Tom Selleck), where she still seeks permission (what is she? 15 or 30?) for everything, to the messy unresolved plot, to the limp climax of a round table discussion between father and son-in-law, it all proves The Killers is an effortless bore. Worse yet, is the charm Heigl has brought to films like Knocked Up or The Ugly Truth is absent and the goodwill Kutcher got from Spread is gone, and combined the two have no on-screen chemistry. I’ll just blame the cliched screenplay that took the True Lies type of idea, and numbed it down for the Twitter generation. It’s like being around some of the richest people in the world and you walked in dressed up for a jog. Oh, the looks and glares they would give you. You would have felt like an inch big. That’s The Killers; a film so into itself, it’s not fun being with it, and I don’t like being sneered at.

The Blu-ray:

Audio/Video: Lionsgate cranks out a swell HD presentation. Contrast, colors, nice blacks, deep details makes the picture near perfect. The DTS audio is a loud track, and only naturally, as it’s an action film, so we get plenty of deep bass, rear speaker activity, and great sound presence.

All extras are in HD.

Killer Chemistry: Behind the Scenes with The Killers Cast/Crew: This is a standard making-of, a little better than a pure EPK, but it has that feel. Chats about the action and working with each other, you know the drill.

Gag Reel that runs a quick minute of typical flubs, Deleted Scenes of no importance, and a couple Alternative Openings, Ending, and Extended Scenes that show not too much, but offers a collective mix of ideas. Uniquely, this disc offers LG-Live enabled apps for your phone and Facebook/Twitter support.

Conclusion: Instantly forgettable and run-of-the-mill action/comedy and a decent HD disc from LGF.

The Film: Rating:

The Blu-ray: Rating: