The Final Destination – Dual Review

Talking to myself all the way to the station/pictures in my head of the final destination…

Jon: I’m a pretty big fan of the concept of this series, especially the first two, which handled it so well, and after a pretty forgettable third entry, I was eager to have them give us one final send off for this franchise. I thought the potential the 3D technology has, could really provide for some fun with The Final Destination, as the kills seemed perfectly set up for 3D. Another thing that excited me was Final Destination 2′s director, David Ellis. If anything from his previous entry, the kills were brutal and original, something that was lacking in part 3. With those components in place, I was excited to see this. Are you a fan of this franchise, Serena?

Serena: I’m definitely on a fan of the franchise, Jon. I am quite partial to part one and part 2, so when I had heard David “Motherf*cking snakes on a plane” Ellis was back onboard as director, I was convinced he could deliver a fun yet gory final entry in the series. Also, the use of the 3-D gimmick played a huge deciding factor as to if I was going to catch this film on the big screen or wait until it came out on DVD. After this year’s My Bloody Valentine 3D, I was eager for more 3D horror and I thought The Final Destination was going to be the new king of 3-D horror films…I guess I was wrong.

What’s your take on The Final Destination?

Jon: The Final Destination has to be one of the worst films, not just horror films, of the year. It’s a total pile of recycled garbage. I can’t really pinpoint why that is, because there’s so much wrong with it. The acting is horrendous, the dialogue is quite laughable even for a horror sequel, and the 3D was pretty tame. If anything, this film feels like one of those short films some DVDs have that act as a prequel to the film, because I really felt ripped off that this is apparently the last Final Destination film.

The whole excuse to make this film, and for us to see it, is the 3D, and it wasn’t that good. They tried to make each death a standout for the 3D, but what a film like My Bloody Valentine work so well with the 3D is how they incorporated into the the story. There was depth in the 3D that made it so much fun, and here it felt really stale. Something like the Nascar crashes that sets the stage for Death to kill these kids, should have been really something in 3D as it is the film’s main set piece, and dare I say it wasn’t that well constructed? This film feels like one of those older 3D movies, that while there was a few things popping out at you, it was more of gimmick that didn’t work well. Now, 3D is a gimmick and will always be a gimmick, but the new RealD 3D makes it look incredible, and like My Bloody Valentine, it can be a lot of fun. The 3D aspect of The Final Destination wasn’t handled that well, and it wasn’t fun. Its reason to exist is the 3D, and it failed.

So, with the failure of the 3D, we’re left with the characters and the story. The characters were complete stock stereotypes, but I’ll get to them later. Did we really expect anything more than Death killing kids? No, but what made the first film, and to an extent the second, work so well, is the mystery of Death’s plan and how the main protagonist figures it out. Devon Sawa might have disappeared from acting, but he gives a good performance in the first film, that puts these kids to shame. There was no fear or emotionality in them. But you can’t really blame them too much, because the script didn’t give them anything to work with. One scene goes to the next, little tension or drama, and through lazy exposition, they figure out Death’s plan. Boo. There’s no reason for this film to exist. There’s no suspense, no terror, no likable characters, it’s just one downright awful movie.

You agree with me, right, Serena?

Serena: Personally, I feel like standing outside of a theatre playing the 2-D version and slapping everybody who comes out of it as there was no reason to see this film outside of its 3-D presentation. The plot out of the film was as thin as Mischa Barton and the acting was just as thin. Like a guy’s downloaded porn, this film just got “right to it” and ignored any filmgoers need for some kind of substance. As long as there was screaming and things being spurt onto the screen, that’s all that seemed to matter. Death’s plan has always taken a while to figure out in these films, but in this one the boring protagonist manages to figure out every thing far too quickly. It was as if the film had expected its audience to know the backstory of this franchise and through rushed dialogue and hollow exposition, FD4 was only able to escape death with its audience through its 3D angle. Although, even that didn’t make me like this film anymore.

Like Jon had said, the 3D wasn’t handled well at all. Despite its well-done yet kick ass race track accident, the violence didn’t hold a candle to what fans are used to seeing from the FD films. It was fairly disappointing because it didn’t provide many jumps or laughs amongst the audience. Mykelti Williamson can finally take Species 2 off his worst film list now.

What about those stereotypes you mentioned earlier?

Jon: I’m eager to see if you Serena caught on this, but while the characters are written incredibly paper thin, I noticed the racial divide in this film. The film follows white characters,who are obviously rich, or well endowed. They have nice cars, apparently no jobs, plan lavish vacations, while the black characters are either a bum, a construction worker, a nurse, or a security guard. Now, I’m not saying these are horrible jobs, well the bum got the short end of the straw, but these characters have to work for their money. To make matters worse, there’s a racist character, who has a big red Swastika on his arm, and mutters out the N-word. He blames the black security guard for his wife’s death, even though he clearly was protecting him from possibly his own death. Well, who cares about death’s plan, because the racist gets drunk, and throws a cross onto the security guard’s lawn, much like the KKK did in the South. The point of this is?

Okay, you’re saying I’m reading to much into this. Well, how about the hospital scene where an old man is awaiting his bath. He’s clearly uncomfortable with the Chinese nurse, as he mutters out “I use to kill people like you in Korea”. He’s obviously ignorant to the different types of Oriental people, and again, this serves what purpose to the story? Not a thing. I’m not calling director or the screenwriter racists, it just very sloppy handling that irked me off that this type of stuff.

One last thing, the white man saves the day and the back bum admits it. Wow. So am I nuts Serena, or was this there?

Serena: I just spit out my Red Bull, (yup it’s a late night!) because I was thinking the exact same thing about the race issues in the film. Apparently, the screenwriters must think all African-Americans have crappy jobs and like to introduce themselves by their work title rather than their names. They must also think all rednecks must burn crosses on an African American’s lawn whenever they get a chance. The last time I had seen anything dealing with a racist burning a cross on the lawn, Rob Reiner was still known as ‘Meathead.’ I agree with Jon that it was very sloppy handling and very outdated. It scares me to think the screenwriters actually thought this issue would add depth to this shameless sequel.

One last thought?

Jon: “I’ve been trying to kill myself all day!” My sentiments exactly from the 80 minutes of this crap.

Serena: Any film that lists its second billing actress as “MILF” on IMDB, is something one should stay far away from. It’s better to strain your eyes at home with the cheap 3-D glasses and watch My Bloody Valentine on DVD instead.

Grades:

Jon: Rating:

Serena: Rating: