Ninja Assassin – Blu-ray Review

The Film:

Has there really ever been a good ninja movie? The ninjas have certainly been associated with cinematic coolness, and maybe it is the recent pop culture affection for the ninja that has spurred the coolness, but outside of a few cameos in actual good films, ninjas have seemed to be regulated into the low rent action fodder, currently clogging up the action section in our store of choice. Ninja Assassin somehow seemed prime to take the ninja into a different cinematic stratosphere, for reasons that are debatable. Was it the over-the-top action, or the coolness we felt promised from the trailer? Unfortunately, now, it doesn’t matter. Ninja Assassin is 100% pure eh, and eh isn’t cool no matter how you slice it.

Coming off a solid first feature in V for Vendetta it seemed like director James McTeigue knew how to tell a solid story, and infuse some neatly staged action scenes. In Ninja Assassin, his approach feels low rent, low brow, and while I won’t get into the nature of how sometimes low brow, mindless entertainment can be great fun, all I can say is that this is scrapping the barrel of low brow entertainment. Certainly Ninja Assassin’s goal wasn’t to make the definitive ninja film-that’s still left unmade-but there’s a reason why the ninja film is considerably goofy, especially when compared to the other cinematic cool guys: the samurais.

Ninjas are mindless, deadly, shadow dwellers, and casting of Rain doesn’t help. The film plays tricks with his character with is he or isn’t he a good guy, but the title spoils all. Rain has been touted as a possible next big thing, and while he has the physic and the skills, he cannot elevate the poor characterizations beyond the page, something a Jet Li, Tony Jaa, and Bruce Lee can do. The film’s most inspired moment, was when a Europol agent claimed he didn’t “look deadly, he looks like he’s in a boy band”, which is a playful jab at him, since Rain is in a South Korean pop band. During Speed Racer, Rain captivated the Wachowskis, who decided to place him in a martial arts film. I don’t deny Rain’s appeal, he looks good in a film, and McTeigue does craft a few awesomely staged scenes, but rumors of Rain being a heir to Bruce Lee in a proposed Enter the Dragon remake, are ill advised.

With the right material, I would like to see Rain again, but Ninja Assassin isn’t the right material. Ninjas might be cool, but CG blood isn’t cool. The film’s filled with CG carnage, and it’s very poor and incredible noticeable. In V for Vendetta, the physical hand-to-hand fights were great, there was a real presence behind Hugo Weaving’s punches. Ninja Assassin is about as deadly as the recent Mortal Kombat game. It’s way to processed, and whatever possible coolness could have leaked out from the pedestrian J. Michael Straczynski script, is evaporated with CG swords, blood, and violence. The Shaw Brothers never needed a computer to hack a limb off.

Big, bold, silly dialogue, a cable TV plot, and some uncool CG fights, Ninja Eh-ssassin feels like it should be clogging up the dump bin at Best Buy, rather than our multiplexes. Ask this ninja, why he isn’t cool.

The Blu-ray:

Audio/Video: While I disliked the film, the WB high-def disc is superb. The transfer is solid, stunning, and borderline gorgeous with it’s handling of the details and especially the dark scenes. Good stuff, as is the audio, that brings in more ass-kicking than the film did. Loud, bass heavy, and featuring plenty of surround activity. Audibly, you’ll be impressed with its DTS track.

The Myths and Legends of Ninjas: In HD, this near 20 minute piece on film’s ninja movies. It starts off a little cheesy, no doubt to the voice narrator, but maybe that’s part of the fun. I dig extras that supplement the film, and I got a kick out of this.

The Extreme Sport of a Ninja: In HD, runs 10 minutes of pure EPK material.

Training Rain: Here’s a look at Rain’s rise into pop celebrity status in Korea, then to the movie word. Decent.

Additional Footage in Hd on passable scenes, and an Exclusive Sneak Peek at Clash of the Titans remake in HD.

Conclusion: Messy and not fun, but the Blu-ray rocks.

The Film: Rating:

The Blu-ray: Rating: