Hatchet II – Review

The ‘Golden Age of Gore’ was when horror films went out theatrically with either no rating or simply the words ‘No One Under 17 Will Be Admitted’. Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead 2 got spanked on the fanny by board members for a comic book style gore gag that was too red for their liking and the producers were forced to release it unrated, something that has not happened since until the release of Adam Green’s Hatchet II.

From sea to shining sea, Hatchet was hailed as the flick that would bring us back to a time when the genre walked with a confident machismo and certainty about itself. The body count was generous and the gore was gushing as it brought back memories of what was great about 80′s slashers. I enjoyed it but I did not feel like it revived anything. Too many people had it built up in their minds that a new horror icon was born with Victor Crowley and the ugly hillbilly had not even made it to round two. Rome was not built in a day, and neither was Frankenstein, Norman Bates, or Michael Myers.

In the current zeitgeist of crowd flakiness and torrent abuse, Dark Sky Films has done the unthinkable and has decided to release Hatchet II in AMC chains without a single cut made by the hypocritical MPAA. The ball is in our court now. Do we as fans get off of our asses and get to the theater and support original, uncut and unrated horror? Or do we become sit back as cynics and let a great opportunity to revive politically incorrect splatter fall by the wayside.

Like in Halloween II and Friday the 13th Part II, we pick up immediately after the events of Hatchet as Marybeth [Danielle Harris] escapes the clutches of Victor Crowley [Kane Hodder] and is whisked away to a cabin by one-eyed Jack Cracker [John Carl Buechler]. In flashbacks, she is told how Thomas Crowley cheated on his dying wife and that his pregnant mistress was slapped with a curse that turned baby Crowley into a freakazoid. Wanting revenge for the death of her family, Marybeth seeks the help of Reverend Zombie and a group of hunters who are promised cold hard cash for the head of the swamp thing.

Sometimes overexplaining a mythology takes away from the mystery of the evil within and can bog a movie down and disrupt the pacing. The exposition, along with some wooden acting and pacing, hurts the beginning after a rousing prologue where a man gets disembowled and choked to death by his own intestines.

Does Hatchet II master the fine art of making sure the ‘Grand Guignol’ setpieces bring down the house and have the audience screaming for more? A beheading while having sex; a chainsaw splitting two people in half while in the air; a face sliced off; an axe to the rectum; and a skinning that would make Pinhead grin from ear-to-ear went down with thunderous applause.

In 1988, John Carl Buechler’s Friday the 13th Part VII was castrated by Jack Valenti and his crusaders; and we still have not seen the unedited version. He and his pal Kane Hodder got the shaft on that picture, but Adam Green’s chunkblower makes up for that injustice and in the same breath brings back old-school horror in the tradition of The Prowler and The Burning.

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