Halloween II – Review

The last time we visited Haddonfield, Michael Myers was brought back to life by the “vision” of Rob Zombie, but the film wasn’t the promised take on a new age Shape, as thought. Muddled by reshoots and studio interference, Rob Zombie’s Halloween was like a gimp trying to run. While there were some interesting angles, those weren’t fully developed, and we got this hybrid of Zombie’s interpretation, with the studios need to deliver on the promise of a Halloween film.

I was willing to give Zombie the benefit of the doubt this time around. Maybe with more control he’ll unleash the Shape into his realized dream of the character. Where would he go with it now? In the first film, he focused on the deterioration of Myers’ mental health. He went from a misunderstood boy, into an emotionless killer. This arc was tripped up by the film’s need to do a shot-by-shot finale of the John Carpenter’s classic. So, in Rob Zombie’s Halloween II, would Zombie follow through on the arc of Myers going from a man into the face of fear, the boogeyman, the Shape? Man, I really over-thought Zombie’s ambition here.

Halloween II is absolutely dreadful. It’s continuously stuck in neutral, but Zombie tries to press on the gas. The problem is in the genesis and reasoning of why this film exists. This film is a direct sequel to the theatrical cut of his remake, so forget about the unrated version of that film or the leaked work print that Dimension Films wanted him to recut. At the end of the remake, Laurie Strode in point blank range, blows a round into Myers’ face, blood splattering onto her. Myers is dead. Halloween II starts off a few minutes after that event, but Zombie doesn’t even explain why he looks like no bullet entered into his face.

Ah, something is amidst here. Zombie probably came back to this franchise to ensure the Weinsteins a film, in hopes that they will produce (what I hope) will be an original idea for his next project. The film is a collection of scenes strung together to fill a 95 minute running time. Zombie must have thrown the script together in a hurry, and set up the camera, and said “action!”, all the while not paying attention. Maybe he was focused on a new solo album? There’s no reason why this film lacks a pulse.

Dr. Loomis (a returning Malcolm McDowell) is a degenerate. He has become a full-on cash monger, now prying off the tragedy of the victims in a tell-all new book, that packs a wallop of a secret. How did he come to know of this secret is never mentioned. His presence is stuff of deleted material for the DVD, because his arc and character have no right to take screen time from Laurie Strode’s amazing arc. Scout Taylor-Compton is radiant, delivering a performance in this film that should have been saved for a better movie. The same can be said about Brad Dourif, as he really is good in this film. But back to Loomis. Zombie spends enough time showing his greedy ways, that when he tries to become the hero, it’s out-of-character and completely pointless. Donald Pleasance is likely rolling in his grave from this horrendous arc of the Loomis character, may he rest in peace.

Tyler Bates is slowly becoming an interesting composer that I’m enjoy listening to, but no offense to him, this film just doesn’t feel like a Halloween film, because of Zombie’s disregard for Carpenter’s original-and classic-score. Zombie is just striking out left and right, if this was baseball, he would’ve been sent packing back to the minors.

I really wasn’t expecting much psychoanalysis of the Myers character, just Zombie offering us a new so-called vision, as the ad campaign loves to call his take. His vision is a bastardized version of Halloween 5: Revenge of Michael Myers. Remember when Jaime (Danielle Harris) was morphing into her uncle, Michael Myers in that film, because of some weird kinship connection? That’s Halloween II. Seeing his two Halloween‘s back-to-back one might say the whole Curse of the Thorn is a better arc, than this momma’s boy, who just wants his family back, even if it means death.

What’s even funnier is Zombie contradicts his take on the character in his own film! When Loomis is on a talk show, the host relates Michael Myers to a shark. That’s correct. Zombie’s Myers is a wrecking ball. It comes out of nowhere to kill. Loomis’ response to the host? “No he’s not.” Zombie’s Myers is a man, and there are scenes here that break him out of that mute stage. Listen for grunts as he kills in this film. His rage is on par to criminologists’ take on Ted Bundy. He doesn’t go anywhere with this development. At least Carpenter stuck to his guns about the phantom-like qualities of Myers, even though he was a man..or was he?

Many of the Rob Zombie conventions are hear, and they won’t win over his haters. Sherri Moon is back, the big wanna-be Tarantino dialogue is here too, and don’t forget about his obsession with ripping off The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), because we get mimicked scenes from that. Why doesn’t he just remake that damn thing? Where did the Devil’s Rejects director go? Halloween II is a complete waste of Myers, and our time. It’s devoid of life, scares, or anything resembling a right to exist. I feel as we have been duped by a promising filmmaker with his take on Michael Myers. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers doesn’t look to bad now…

And why, oh why, why, why, was Weird Al Yankovic in this?

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