A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas – Review

Stoner buds Harold (John Cho) & Kumar (Kal Penn) are on different life paths since their adventures at White Castle and Guantanamo Bay. Harold is happily married to the love of his life, Maria (Paula Garcés), and they both are trying their best to have a child. Then there is Kumar, who is still living the good life of smoking joints and being a slacker. He has let himself go since the breakup with his girlfriend, and his relationship with Harold is fractured at best as they have grown apart over the years. He has to get his act together fast as news that he has a baby on the way bitch slaps him out of his funk. Fate has brought our two pals back together in the form of a present by old Saint Nick, which turns out to be a huge doobie, one that proceeds to burn down the sacred tree of Harold’s father in-law – Machete himself – Danny Trejo.

Kumar’s new best friend makes a trip to get a piece of the virgin ass of a hornier than hell girl named Mary (Jordan Hinson), who is eager as a beaver to get her cherry popped, yet this has never happened due to the fact that her father is a violent Ukrainian gangster (Elias Koteas). Harold, his dull as wood friend, and his little girl Ava tag along for a sky high journey through New York City in hopes of finding the perfect Christmas tree.

The Harold & Kumar series is this generations Cheech & Chong, a series of classic films from the 80′s that starred Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong, father of Rae Dawn Chong. I would put the first three films in the Harold & Kumar franchise in the same league as Up in Smoke, Next Movie and Nice Dreams. What made those movies so special were all the hilarious misadventures that tickled your funny bone, and the bevy of women they bump into, that all deserve the moniker of “Hottie of the Week.”

An ecstasy trip to claymation land where they are attacked by a killer snowman, Patton Oswalt as a drug dealing Mall Santa, the return of Bobby Lee as Kenneth Park, a waffle making robot named Wafflebot, a classic scene from A Christmas Story that will have guys holding their johnsons, a little girl who gets a nose and mouthful of an assortment of drugs, and the return of NPH equal one of the funniest comedies of the year. We get to see Neil Patrick Harris in Heaven, and we also find out why his stay was short-lived, and it is not because of his role in Starship Troopers. Seeing an openly gay man portray a straight gigolo is the sign of someone who takes their craft seriously, and with How I Met Your Mother and the Harold & Kumar flicks, it is apparent that former Doogie Howser, M.D. is one the best actors working today.

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is an instant Christmas classic that I will play every December alongside Christmas Vacation, Scrooged and A Christmas Story. A film that offends every race, religion and creed while hitting all the Mr. Skin boner moments that I love. The 3D was simply awesome because it was the real deal, and not the nickel and dime, post-converted blurriness that I have come to expect.

Rating:

Jason Bene

I'm just an average man/ With an average life/ I work from nine to five/ Hey, hell, I pay the price/ All I want is to be left alone/ In my average home/ But why do I always feel/ Like I'm in the twilight zone

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