Jon Peters Reviews: “Bangkok Dangerous”

In ‘Bangkok Dangerous’, Nic Cage’s character lives by a few rules. They’re standard hit man clichés, you know don’t get involved, don’t leave your trace, don’t ask questions, but once we are given this information, he abandons them quickly. Joe is on his last job, four hits in Bangkok, and then he’s getting out of the game. It’s your standard one last job film and naturally everything goes wrong. It’s been done a dozen times better and in ‘Bangkok Dangerous’ I cannot feel for the guy when he breaks his own rules.

He claims he wants to meet someone but can’t because living out of a suitcase hurts his chances of settling down. Okay, but why risk everything for a girl, when he can do his job, retire, and then date all he wants? It’s silly and by the time the film reaches its climax, I don’t care about Joe. If he’s that dumb to cause all of this, well, then take it.

I know it’s silly to get all bent on the film’s hook, but seriously, it’s stupid for a professional hit man to make such a fatal mistake when he’s supposedly that badass, so why not just do your job, retire and then date? Well, I’m trying hard to find something to comment about because this film isn’t good. The lighting is horrible. I felt as if I was watching the film wearing sunglasses. It was incredibly dark, so much so I bet many people will be asking what’s going on. There’s a blue tint to everything, not helping the dark cinematography.

I’ve seen worse this year and this time of year normally gives us these types of films. I have to wonder how the Pang Brothers (the original ‘The Eye’) continue to get jobs. I think they’re perhaps the most over-hyped directors coming out of Asia to America. I find their style to be flashy with no real style. There’s a scene where Joe swims underwater to kill some gangster and as soon as he applies his choke hold, the Pang Brothers use flashes of strobe lights mixed with a blackout to create the effect. It’s overly noisy and unjustified. There are a couple of averagely staged action scenes, but the film is overly long and someone explain that last shot. Joe for some reason takes on a protégé and the film ends with him looking out at us. Go ahead and insert your own tagline.

Make no mistake, this is a bad film, another lame duck in Cage’s current career; another September studio bomb. Maybe we should create our own rules when going to a Nic Cage film, let’s see: one, don’t get involved with his films; two, don’t leave your trace if you see one; and three, don’t ask questions about his wig (hair). Oh wait; I just broke all of these!