Jon Peters Reviews: “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”

If you are buying a ticket to see ‘Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor’ and are expecting anything more than what the series has given us before, you will be really let down. On the other hand, if you can handle the over-blown action, inept logic, and silly exposition, then I think you’ll have a decent time. Back in 1999, ‘The Mummy’ was unleashed and it is over-reliance on computer graphics, it was a fun summer flick, nothing more, nothing less. I’m sure Boris Karloff would’ve been rolling in his grave at the way they inserted action and fantasy over a creepy drama like his film was back in 1932, but subtleness was never Stephen Sommers. I enjoyed the first film but with TBS and TNT abusing the film every other weekend, I have grown tired of the movie and really haven’t watched it all the way through in many years.

So when ‘Mummy Returns’ came out I was excited. At that time I was a fan of the Rock and having enjoyed the first film I was anticipating the sequel. ‘Returns’ had numerous problems. Basically, rehashing the formula, adding even more action set pieces and capping it off, was some of the worst computer graphics ILM has ever done. I mean it’s embarrassingly bad. I would’ve taken my name off of it if I was one of the technicians. Back then I disliked the ‘Mummy Returns’ and that was when I didn’t know much about film, only that if it was fun, I liked it. I hate the film still. So after 8 long years, is it worth having a third ‘Mummy’ movie? No, but at least this film is better than ‘Mummy Returns’ for whatever that’s worth.

I think the switch from Egyptian mummies to Chinese mummies is a clever one. Jet Li being cast as the villain is highly inspired. Returning most of the key cast except Rachael Weisz (in is Maria Bello) and having better CGI has helped the matter that we have a third ‘Mummy’ film. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t seen the original 1932 classic; these films are so far removed a modern kid won’t appreciate that film. I hope this is the last of these Universal monster remakes, because we need these creatures to be scary again and steeped in atmosphere (hopefully, next year’s ‘Wolfman’ will be this-it looks like it too).

Being a ‘Mummy’ film will get the corny exposition at the beginning on how this mummy became one and what ancient curse has set him in his grave. Cut scene to where we find him, traps go off, people die PG-13 style, and he’s awaken. Computer generated mayhem ensues, big CGI armies fight, Rick saves the day. Simple story and just follows the basic formula that this series is. There’s little to explain. Any fan of the series knows what they are getting into.

The film does have some inspired sequences, like the Yeti fight and some moments here and there, but it just feels tired. Given a location and culture, there could’ve been some more inspired scenes. Jet Li is really wasted; he’s no Im Ho Tep (Arnold V). He’s just a cardboard cutout villain, and sorry Li, anyone Chinese man could’ve played him. Tell the truth, everything is basically one-dimensional. There’s no development, only an interesting beginning in which Evey has written some books on the Mummies and Rick is bored, but that’s it. Their son from ‘Returns’ is grown up and they could’ve picked a better actor. He delivers lines with odd beats as if he is reading them off of cue cards.

Alex: ‘Follow my lead.’
Lin: ‘No. I have a dagger that must be put in his heart.’
Alex: ‘Okay. (pauses) Let’s do it your way.’

See? Just awkward and clunky. There’s a lot of dialogue like that in the film. Not saying the first had dialogue worthy of a thespian, but it’s really noticeable in this film.

One huge complaint is the jokes. I’m fine with Brendan Fraser yelling his one-liners around, but when a Yeti kicks a man in the butt and he sails over a post and another Yeti raises his hands like a football referee to signal ‘touchdown’, I have a problem with that. First of all, they’re Yeti. Second, it’s 1948ish. Thirdly, they’re Yeti! How do they know football? Fourthly, football was barely a third tier sport Americans liked back then. Fifthly, they are YETI!

Okay, so logic and good dialogue aren’t a ‘Mummy’ film’s strong point. Regardless, if you know what you are getting into, it’s a decent, semi-fun, time waster. Hopefully, it’s the last of this series (although they hint at Peru mummies) but Cohen did do a decent job directing. It’s the ‘kitchen sink’ approach; everything is thrown in. Put every bit of ideas the writers had, a balls-out approach and one can’t possibly not be mildly amused. Just realize that this is a third film in a ridiculous franchise and you might be sort of entertained. I know mainstream critics will tear this one down.