I remember the first time I showed my friend Bones CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL. "Joe," He told me, "I feel dumber for having watched that."

It always confused me as to how a movie could make you dumber for having seen it. Now I know. It's kinda like when people tell you that you don't know the feeling of having a kid until you do.

Yeah. Like that.

This movie takes bad to a place and hooks up with Zombies Gone Wild and makes a nasty bitch of a kid. It's boring, has repetitive bad music, the look of the production is super cheap, and the worst offense: they use the words 'dude' and 'bro' as if they were fucking turtles that were mutated and taught ninja shit.

It's roughly about some college douchebags that get a bong and it sucks their souls into (the bong) and treats them to some strippers before killing them...inside the bong. Whoopity shit.

Actually that was the only redeeming factor in the whole festival of shit - the strippers. Of course that was fucked up when they gave the strippers some lines to read.

DO NOT MAKE STRIPPERS TALK, CHARLES BAND.

The cast seemed appropriate, and the actors seemed to do the best they could with what they had. They were decent indie actors, but no saving grace for this picture. Jesus fucking balls is this bad.

I'm a late bloomer and my only other Full Moon experience was THE GINGERDEAD MAN which I was very excited about ..and very let down with. I hear Full Moon was an indie source to be reckoned with back in the day, but I just can't see how that could still be after seeing these two bars of day old dookie.