An Easy Getaway

As a male, it’s sometimes difficult to watch movies from a woman’s perspective. Honestly, how many times have you actually rooted for the woman running from Jason, Leatherface, or Michael? The truth is that we’re watching the movies to see these people die. Morbid? Sure. Natural? Definitely. The horror franchise is built around death, torture, violence, and sex. We’re completely fine with watching women have casual intercourse at one moment, then impaled and gutted the next. They’re hand in hand, really. Both are exciting and slightly uncomfortable at the same time and that’s what makes horror movies horrific. You find pieces of yourself in every character and especially in the killer. Morbid? Sure. Natural? Without a doubt. Unfortunately, Roland Joffé’s ‘Captivity’ is no exception.

Jennifer (Elisha Cuthbert) is a ‘celebrity’ as she so casually states when asked about her profession. Her face is plastered on buildings, taxi cabs and buses. Her face is also plastered in the mind of a killer. Jennifer wakes up confined in a wine cellar after being drugged during a charity event. There’s a metal drawer where she receives food and a numbered key that goes with its corresponding locker. In each locker is one of her many outfits which I guess the killer wants her to wear, because when she doesn’t, he blares lights and noise until she gives in. Shortly during her stay, she realizes that she has a neighbor. In her room is a painted window that connects to an adjoining room. In the next room is Gary (Daniel Gillies), whose profession is ’sleeping in other people’s cars’ or driving rich people’s cars from one coast to the other, to be specific. They briefly argue over social status (which could’ve been an interesting high point in the film) but instead relegate to generalized conversation about their lives and how to escape. Maybe that sounds a tad selfish of me, but I think having the characters (who really know nothing about each other) clashing over opposite personalities and attempting to trust one another would make for an interesting character study as opposed to ‘You’re rich, I’m poor. I don’t like you. I like you. Let’s find a way out.’ So escape plans are made, and our odd couple becomes determined to be free before Day 4 (the final day/locker) comes around.

My main problem with ‘Captivity’ (like most mainstream films) is a rapid flux of hype. When billboards first appeared in Los Angeles featuring an imprisoned Cuthbert with words like ‘Confinement,’ ‘Torture’ and ‘Termination’ it caused a giant uproar and After Dark Films pulled the ads while Lions Gate had no idea this campaign existed. Now, I know most Americans are fucking stupid and sensitive and can’t stand the sight of anything but American flag ribbon magnets and Subways ads with Jared and some celebrity nobody cares about. All in all, we like things that ‘make us feel good.’ But regardless, that billboard features some pretty strong words that the film doesn’t live up to. Confinement? Yep. Torture? If you consider getting one outfit per day torture, sure. Termination? Fucking barely. Though the film opens up with a pretty badass and violent kill, the rest of the film is quite tame.

The third act is the most interesting part of the film because that’s when the characters really start using their heads. But everything prior to that feels like a rehash of any film where someone is held captive. The last thirty minutes of the movie successfully pull off some genuine suspense and frantic thinking on Jennifer’s part and had the preceding hour done the same, we’d be left with a much better movie. Because of that, it’s really hard to choose a side in the ‘Captivity’ because all of its characters glide along on cue until the obvious plot twist finally reveals itself. This movie wants you to feel for its lead female. You’re not supposed to see her as a dumb blonde running from a killer and tripping over tree stumps along the way, but as a human who is trapped under horrible circumstances. In the end, however, she’s as shallow as the script allows her to be and for that, my heart remains unmoved.

The Hidden Message: Elisha Cuthbert still won’t do nude scenes. Otherwise, this movie would have the best review ever.