The Top Ten ‘Sex and the City’ episodes men can Tolerate

The second wave of yet another uncomfortable mind-raping event for men begins May 27^th when Sex and the City 2 hits theatres worldwide. Most men I have encountered who seemed like they were dragged against their will to see the previous installment have compared their viewing experiences to a trip to the torture chambers in the Hostel films.  (Only Manolo Blahniks and the musical soundings of Fergie were used as the instruments of pain.)

Most women I know have tried to get their unwilling significant others caught up on the show by foolishly suggesting to watch the show from the very beginning to the end together.  Unfortunately, this suggestion prompts anyone with an ounce of testosterone in their bodies to run through walls like character straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon.   However, over the years of coaxing my guy friends/boyfriends, I have discovered there are certain episodes men can actually watch painlessly without women having to promise sexual favors afterwards.

So if you’re a Sex and the City female fan and want your significant other to be able to come out of the theatre (you will inevitably take him to next month) without referring to the show’s four ladies as “the three prostitutes and their mother,” then show these episodes to get him to shut up!

Dick, Fart and Pot Jokes

THE DROUGHT (season 1)

If you want a guy to watch a Sex and the City episode, it’s safe to assume that starting him off with an episode dealing with noisy bodily functions is a reliable choice.  In this episode, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is faced with dealing with a woman’s worst nightmare in a new relationship when she accidentally farts in bed beside her boyfriend, Mr. Big. (Chris Noth)  How Carrie handles her humiliating situation and the practical joke Mr. Big pulls on her afterwards is what makes this episode full of guaranteed laughs.

WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU? (Season 2)

After being mortified when her date falls asleep while having sex with her, Charlotte (Kristin Davis) forces her three other friends to take a tantric sex workshop with her held in an older woman’s small apartment.  This episode has one of the most shocking moments ever seen in the show when the man involved in the tantric sex demonstration gets too excited and “climaxes” all over Miranda’s unsuspecting face. (Played by Cynthia Nixon.)  Seriously, it’s a funny sight to see and it makes the hair gel scene in There’s Something about Mary seem tame.

HOT CHILD IN THE CITY (season 3)

If you can’t win him over with dick and fart jokes, then starting him off with an episode dealing with pot may get him interested. The hilarity starts when Carrie decides to smoke Canadian Weed with her new boyfriend, Wade (who happens to live with his parents) in his bedroom with a home made bong. After Wade’s mother catches them smoking pot, Carrie’s reaction to being falsely accused of bringing in the pot is applaud-worthy.  It even makes up for the stupid scene of her foolishly wasting an entire bucket of KFC by having a stoned “food fight” with Wade. (Surely a scene that will make any man mad.)

THE POST-IT ALWAYS STICKS TWICE (season 6)

After being dumped on a post-it, Carrie goes out with the girls to a bar in hopes that something better will happen to her that day so it’s not known as the day she was broken up with on a post-it.  This eventually leads the girls on a risky quest for marijuana and hilarity ensues.  The Post-It Always Sticks Twice is by far my favorite episode and it will have both men and women chuckling from its ridiculousness.

Aidan’s Revenge

TIME AND PUNISHMENT (season 4)

Most women make the mistake of trying to show the episodes of SATC when Carrie was cheating on Aidan Shaw (played by John Corbett) with Mr. Big.  Most men I know are usually very annoyed by this storyline if not simply for the fact that their girlfriends keep constantly relating them to the character of Aidan and their douche bag ex to Mr. Big in real-life. (Not very reassuring, is it?)  However, when Carrie and Aidan get back together in season 4, Aidan does not act like the sweet guy he was in season 3.  For the entire episode, Aidan is cold and distant as he punishes Carrie for her previous indiscretions. It is definitely an episode that jaded men seem to appreciate.

BELLE OF THE BALLS (season 4)

Weeks after Aidan and Carrie have worked out their relationship problems; a BIGGER problem rears its ugly head when Mr. Big decides to drive up to Aidan’s cottage to see Carrie about his own relationship woes. Needless to say, things get physical. (And not in the Olivia Newton-John way either) It’s not the epic fight men would hope to see, but it is definitely one that will make them laugh.

Lesbians, Boobies and Playboy Bunnies…Oh my!

7 & 8.  SEX AND ANOTHER CITY Part 1 and 2 (season 3)

When Carrie’s columns get optioned for a movie, the girls embark on a journey to L.A and on their trip they ride mechanical bulls, get screamed at by Matthew McConaughey and get invited by Hugh Hefner to the infamous Playboy Mansion.  If the sight of visibly naked Playboy bunnies in a Jacuzzi doesn’t keep his attention, (which it will) then Vince Vaughn’s role as Carrie’s new beau will.

9. WHAT’S SEX GOT TO DO WITH IT? (season 4)

The only thing I can comment on this filler episode is that this is the episode in which Samantha Jones (played by Kim Cattrall) decides to declare she is a lesbian by romancing painter, Maria.  It features some soft-core lesbian action and I think that’s all I need to say about that.

10. ANCHORS AWAY (season 5)

The season five premiere of SATC was a fairly mediocre one for fans of the show, although for men it was the moment they were all waiting for—a glance at ONE of Charlotte York’s breasts.  All of the gals (asides from the show’s frigid star of course) show their breasts in this episode, but as I discovered from numerous discussions with my guy friends, Charlotte is the one most men lust for.  (Apparently Seth Macfarlane has brainwashed all men to think Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a foot.)  You may only get a glance at one breast, but from what I heard, it was enough to make up for Charlotte’s nip tease in season 3.

So there you have it! These are the ten essential SATC episodes that men can tolerate watching the most.  Hopefully after that, the trip to the theatres next month might not seem as painful as men once thought it would be.  (Although they most like will NEVER admit it! )