REEL TRUTH with Serena Whitney

Are Female Movie Geeks a Dying Breed?

A couple of years back when I used to write for a website called The Movie Blog, I wrote an article detailing the false perceptions of reality women fall victim to when allowing themselves to live by what they see in romantic comedies and dramas. The article had male readers applauding my view points and many commented on how I was one of the few women out there that truly understood how romantic movies brainwashed women into forcing unrealistically high expectations on men. I found this to be quite funny considering none of the men realized that they TOO allow themselves to believe deceptive notions of love that they derive from all the obscure films they watched over the years. (Yeah I said it!)

This theory of mine was brought to light after watching the “anti-rom com” 500 Days of Summer and reading the reviews for it from male film critics.  I was baffled by how many of them could not understand the Summer character. She was written in reviews as an ambiguous and free-spirited character, which although of was true, it did not explain the reasoning for her unhappiness towards her relationship. Summer simply just felt trapped in a passionless relationship with someone that was perfectly content with using passion for the same eclectic music as a life support ventilator.  Why was it so easy to see? If you’re female and into music and movies outside of the norm, it is pretty much guaranteed you are the love/wrath of some poor male movie geek’s life.

Being a huge horror movie geek, this is a story I know all a little too well. Making friends is easy enough. However the second I reveal my love for Tom Holland films, my ability to connect Edwige Fenech to Kevin Bacon in five seconds, or my adoration to Fred Dekker for using Marshall Bell as an important cameo in his Tales From the Crypt episode And All Through the House, it’s as if I had just paraphrased the chorus of Digital Underground’s Humpty Hump to the male movie geek friend and then all bets are off. Immediately everything I say or do is misconstrued as a means of flirting and everything becomes extreme awkward afterwards which always leads to me paraphrasing Robert Palmer’s I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On to get myself out of a sticky situation. Seriously, one time I had an idiotic and unfaithful girlfriend of a well-known horror movie director try to make my life a living hell all because she was adamant of the fact that I was somehow trying to steal her meal ticket away from her. (However, that`s a story for another day.)

I know it may sound like I`m being smug, but it honestly doesn`t take much for ANY female movie geek to attract the attention of a male one. If a girl decides to wear a “zombie vs. shark“ shirt, she might as well as spritzed on a sample of Love Potion number 9, and if she dare wear it at a film convention, she should prepare herself to make like Tate Donovan and get the hell out of there.

So why do certain male movie fanatics act like this? My theory is that men see non-gothic female movie buffs as fictional as the leprechaun or lipstick lesbo. The second they meet a girl that is nice to them and has the same passion for the odd and rarely seen films as they do, it`s as if the delusion of `chemistry` and a future relationship has already entered their heads. It`s enough to make aficionadas want to race to the bookstore to buy anything by Stephanie Meyers to use as repellent.

So guys, if you find yourself heart-broken and rejected by a female movie enthusiast who seems more interested in the douche who thinks Timothy Dalton was the ultimate James Bond, ask yourself what else do you have in common with this person? Are you attracted to anything about this person that is non-superficial? Or are you…(gulp) trying to use her to fill in the void that`s missing in your life? It may sound harsh, but like a character once said in 500 Days of Summer, “Just because some cute girl likes the bizarre old crap you do, it doesn`t make her your soul mate.“

If more male film geeks lived by this, I guarantee you more women film geeks would come out of hiding and then maybe the idea of hooking up with a movie geekette would not seem as captivating anymore. Treat the female movie fans like you would treat the rest of your buds.  Don`t project an unreasonable set of expectations on her. If there`s a spark, then let it take its natural course. Just don`t suffer from the delusion that she`s your kindred spirit because you have the same love for Demonic Toys films. Trust me; it will save you much time, pain and money spent on a Full Moon pictures box set trying to impress an aficionada if you do.