Well, it’s that time of year. Ghosts and ghouls come out of the woodwork for their night of haunting and terror. Whether in film, music, or game, October seems to be the pinnacle of the year’s haunting delivered within thirty-one days. There’s plenty of films out there that capture the spirit of Halloween, whether scary, horror, or just a good old-fashioned slasher.

But here’s the thing. I detest being scared. I’ve seen my share of scary movies, but nothing compared to the other cats here on the site. Historically, I’ve determined that the 1943 Cat People is the reason I hate scary movies. Thanks, Dad. So the full title of this article should be “Michael’s Halloween Watch List… For Weenies.” There are a few classics that everyone needs to watch this month, and I’ve come up with my own list, much like everyone that reviews movies… ever… to watch this haunted season.

Classics

First off, a classic. The original Phantom of the Opera. The Lon Cheney one. Absolutely great classic movie. Not scary at all by today’s standards, but the story of haunting a beautiful opera house is a staple not to be missed. Make sure to catch the non-Switchblade Symphony version of this movie, as their soundtrack ruins… RUINS… the film.

Next up, Dracula. Yea, another classic. Martin Landau said it best in his portrayal of Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood.

Take my word for it. You want to score with a young lady, you take her to see Dracula.

That says it all. Dracula is another one of those can’t-be-missed Halloween films that’s lost a lot of horror factor by today’s standards.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is one of my favorite Halloween movies. The story of a somnambulist doing his master’s bidding takes a wicked turn at the end. Again, this is a silent film, and the original is German from 1920, but nevertheless, very much worth seeing.

The Shining. Need I say more? Jack Nicholson’s performance is nerve-racking, and stellar.

I’m a sucker for camp. Both Plan 9 From Outer Space and the next movie are great terrible movies. Plan 9’s great use of nothing and stellar script have recently been subject to remake rumors, but no one can legitimize Edward D. Wood Junior’s vision. All of Ed Wood’s movies are gems, but Plan 9 is the epitome of his work.

Indie Movies That Are Good. Once.

Another terrible film, Rockabilly Vampire is about a self-defeating Greaser vampire and a girl that thinks Elvis is still alive. This Troma film is a good example of all Troma movies, which include the Toxic Avenger and a few movies from the guys that made South Park.

Six-String Samurai is a rad post-apocalyptic take on the United States. the Buddy Holly-esque protagonist and his wickedly-annoying sidekick trek across the country to get to Vegas to take the King’s throne. However, there’s a Slash-looking Death causing problems along the way. The soundtrack and great storyline make this a decent Halloween movie.

Foreign

Battle Royale is a bloodbath in paradise. The stagnant characters add to the socialist feel to the movie, and the sheer amount of violence in this movie makes curious as to how I can watch it. But blood only makes Halloween that much more special.

Sukiyaki Western Django is another foreign film that doesn’t really have anything to do with Halloween, but the amount of violence and bizarre human behavior make it appropriate for the list. The Film has a little spot from Tarantino in it, which only adds to the brutality of this movie.

Love and a .45 has nothing scary in it. Like I said, I’m not that into being scared. It does however, feature a great soundtrack and has an impressive story and a neat Bonnie and Clyde vibe to it. The scary part is Renee Zellweger in it and it’s still good. It’s suprisingly violent and a little twisted, so check it out, but there’s no real rush.

Honorable Mentions

These are good, and must-watch movies, but everyone SHOULD know already.

Alien – One of the few movies I can watch in the middle of the night with the lights out and movie booming.

Event Horizon – Creepy. Just. Straight.  Creepy.

Fargo – Woodchippers at their finest.

Saw – Just the first one. The rest tried too hard.

Se7en – What’s in the box? A box of awesome, that’s what!

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - “I don’t like the looks of this!” indeed.

Tags: alien, Battle Royale, bela lugosi, dracula, ed wood, Edward D Wood Jr, Elvis, Event Horizon, Fargo, Jack Nicholson, Lon Cheney, Love and a .45, Martin Landau, Phantom of the Opera, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Quentin Tarantino, Rockabilly Vampire, Saw, Se7en, Six-String Samurai, Sukiaki Western Django, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, The Shining, Toxic Avenger, Troma Films, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory