Late Night Classics – Creepshow 2

Anthologies were a dime a dozen in the 1980′s. Whether is was smaller mediums like television [Amazing Stories, Monsters] to theatrical flicks [Cat's Eye, Deadtime Stories], the idea of several mini-films for the price of one was something horror fans were craving, although the general public could care less, which would explain why there has never been a box-office smash from the configuration.

In 1982, best-selling author Stephen King and zombie guru George A. Romero teamed up for their love letter to EC Comics’ Tales from the Crypt with the impeccable Creepshow. What they pulled off is quite remarkable considering the biggest drawback of the vignette format is you usually have a few stinker segments to go with the winners; it is the law of averages. This was not the case here as Romero, working from King’s screenplay, weaved together ordinary situations and gave them an ironic and gruesome twist. Unfortunately, at the time, Creepshow was buried by the summer of ’82 competition [E.T., The Thing, and The Road Warrior - to name a few] and did not reach cult status until years later when it debuted on cable.

What I really enjoyed about the group of guys who worked on Creepshow was they were like a big family, and many of them worked under Romero’s tutelage, and were later rewarded with directing gigs of their own. Composer John Harrison cut his teeth on a handful of episodes of the late 80′s television series Tales from the Darkside before getting behind the cameras to make the film version of the hit show. Make-up madman Tom Savini took the mantle for the first remake of Night of the Living Dead, long before they became as commonplace as going to the toilet. Then there is director of cinematography Michael Gornick, who has been a Romero regular since the not-quite-a-vampire opus Martin. For the much touted sequel, he was handed a smaller budget as shop was moved from Warner Bros. to New World Pictures.

It is a damp morning in Maine as the “Creep” [Tom Savini] is dropping off the latest issue of Creepshow to a newsstand as young Billy anxiously awaits for its arrival. As the opening credits materialize, we are dipped into some cheap Saturday morning cartoon animation that reminded me of an episode of Fat Albert. The wraparound story is downright silly as Billy is tormented by a gang of bullies who meet their untimely demise by way of venus flytraps that the youngster ordered from the comic.

Old Chief Wood ‘N Head takes place in the middle of nowhere at a general store ran by an elderly couple, played by seasoned veterans George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour. The only regular customers they see are the dust and the wind, and an old wooden warrior chief who watches guard in front of the establishment. They have been kind to Benjamin Whitemoon and his people in the impoverished small town, in return, they are loaned some valuable turquoise jewelry as collateral for their debt. Ben’s pompous nephew Sam is on the prowl as he and his low life friends barge into the store and look to rob them for everything they have, as well as the prized jewel. Sam guns them down in cold blood as he is on a path to Hollywood to become a star and get laid, regardless of the order. The chief will have none of this kind of senseless crime as he puts on his war paint and lets out a bone-chilling howl and lays down the law, leaving a trail of blood in his path.

Four horny, pot smoking friends head to The Raft located on a secluded lake only to find themselves trapped as a hungry oil slick that looks like a dirty old man’s rain coat looks to swallow them all. The first death is a grand one as Page Hannah, Daryl Hannah’s sister, pokes her finger into the slime and is pulled into a watery grave. She pops up for a brief moment to stretch out for help, but she is taken over as she disintegrates into nothing. Three are left as the athletic one of the group looks to make a swim for it, but is interrupted as his leg is snapped backwards and his class ring becomes lodged between the wood in the raft. We are left with the nerd and the hot girl as the two try to stay warm as virgin boy makes his way to her breasts as she has fallen asleep. Little does he realize that while he was getting some nipple action that the girl had been chewed on and she is flipped in the water and is eaten alive. He makes one final dash back to land and makes the fatal error to celebrate, only to have the blob rise up like a wave at the beach and wash him away.

A cheating wife hurries home after paying a man whore to give her something she does not get from her husband – multiple orgasisms. She drops her cigarette in her fancy car and takes her eye of the road long enough to run down and kill the true star of Creepshow 2 – The Hitchhiker. In true Rod Serling fashion, the deceased man returns from the beyond and is ready for some retribution. She keeps seeing him on the road and figures it is just guilt and she is imagining it all, but the battered guy just wants to says thanks, “Thanks for the ride lady!” Even after she shoots him with her gun and slams her vehicle into him a few more times for good measure, The Hitchhiker does not go down as he hitches a ride under her car and chokes her out in her garage at home.

This is a situation where a movie gets better as it goes on, and at the end of the day, it is the big bad brother of the far superior original. Creepshow 2 has been labeled the black sheep of the series, which is unfair. Obviously, fans who say that have not had the displeasure of sitting through the cinematic abortion that is Creepshow III. Stephen King cameos as a truck driver, and The Hitchhiker himself is not a stranger to getting beaten down as actor Tom Wright returned to anthologies in Tales from the Hood.